We open to the weirdest darn music video I’ve seen in quite awhile. At the Hardy Compound, Reby Sky plays piano as everybody – even the groundskeeper and Vanguard One – gets in on the OBSOLETE KARAOKE. King Maxel plays along on his little baby grand, and it sends Matt Hardy into a premonition; “The very first battle of a great war will not take place at the Zone of Impact; it will take place here, at the Hardy Compound, the Sacred Land of Deletion… It all begins with an intruder who trespasses upon our property.” Matt instructs Brother Nero to accompany him as Señor Benjamin and Vanguard are told to protect the grounds, protect the family with their lives. Reby produces a sheathed cutlass and tells Matt that they’ll be all right.
Speaking of “alright”, we head to the Impact Zone as “The Miracle” Mike Bennett is heading to the ring! As Bennett and Maria make the walk, they replay the end of the Battle Royal from last week where Bennett tossed Moose out over the top rope as Moose was dealing with Eddie Edwards. “If I’m Mike Bennett… I’m constantly looking over my shoulder… for a Moose,” says Josh Matthews. Bennett says that he’s been asking the Impact Zone for the last year, “Do you believe?”, and the answer has always been “Yes, we do.” You believe in the Miracle, the Miracle Movement. The Miracle Movement completes its mission as Bennett becomes TNA World Heavyweight Champion, because he is the best damn pro wrestler on the planet and he surrounds himself with successful people, like his wife, Maria, and the most destructive force on the planet, Moose.
But where is Moose? Dunno. Lashley is messing with him, though, but Bennett wants him to come down to the ring to set the record straight. Instead, we get the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, the Juggernaut, Bobby Lashley. “Sorry, Miracle, but the truth is, Moose doesn’t want to have [anything] to do with you,” Lashley begins, “so this whole confidence game is out the window.” Lashley tells Bennett to look at himself, and then at Lashley. Lashley doesn’t have to fake confidence; he’s sure he’s going to beat Bennett, just like he beat Kurt Angle, Drew Galloway, James Storm, DJ Z, and Eddie Edwards. He’s better than them. They can even throw the rules out but Lashley is still sure that he’ll destroy Mike Bennett.
Bennett tells Lashley that he’s too cocky for his own good, but is he really confident enough to put his money where his mouth is? No, absolutely, Lashley says tonight’s main event can be No Disqualification because the only chance Bennett has of winning is if “Moosey” was with him, and he doesn’t have that anymore. Bennett says it’s a façade; Lashley is jealous of Moose. Moose is bigger, badder, and way better than Lashley. Lashley’s game to divide Bennett and his friend Moose, but Bennett doesn’t think Moose actually took Lashley up on his invitation from last week. Bennett knows his friend and he would never do that. Lashley asks where Moose is if he didn’t go out to that dinner with Moose. Maybe Lashley just smartened Moose up, let him know that Bennett’ll only use him, maybe Lashley promised Moose a World Heavyweight Championship shot in the future, or maybe Moose just hates Bennett.
Bennett doesn’t believe Lashley for one second; Moose is on Bennett’s side, and Moose will do what Bennett wants, when Bennett wants, and tonight, Bennett will become TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Lashley tells Bennett to calm down; he has no chance in hell of winning, after all. Lashley is going to walk out Champion because there’s nobody that can stop him. No one.
Moose’s music hits, and, is there really Moose merch?! Nice! Moose gets in the ring, mic in hand, “It’s real funny how everyone is talkin’ about me. In fact, you got the whole Impact Zone chantin’ ‘Moose’!” And boy, are they ever. Ever since Moose came to TNA, he let his actions talk for him, and anyone that got in his way got knocked on their ass. Bennett knows this. Lashley knows this. Lashley knows Moose didn’t meet him anywhere. Bennett laughs. Moose is his friend! Moose is on his side, and “we” are gonna win the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, and “we” are gonna run this place! “We?!” Moose hasn’t forgotten what happened last week, and tonight, in the main event, it’s Moose that decides who walks out of this ring the TNA World Heavyweight Champion.
Up next, Matt Hardy will face Crazzy Steve of The Decay.
— Commercial break —
A recap of last week’s main event of Ethan Carter III versus Drew Galloway, and Galloway attacking the match’s special guest referee, Aron Rex. We’ll hear from Drew Galloway later tonight.
Crazzy Steve makes his way to the ring. And now, introducing his opponent, BROKEN Matt Hardy! Matt Hardy is accompanied by Brother Nero as the crowd chants “DELETE! DELETE!”
Crazzy Steve vs. BROKEN Matt Hardy
Crazzy Steve starts by drooling on himself, Matt by making exaggerated biting movements, and the two meet in the middle of the ring, jabbering like mental patients in a bad movie. “How do you want what you wanted?” Matt asks, and Steve wants a high wrist lock. The two lock up, test of strength, and Matt starts to bite at Crazzy Steve’s arm! Steve responds in kind. “It’s a ‘taste of strength!’” Matthews says. They trade biting back-and-forth until Steve knees Hardy in the gut. Clubbing blow sends Matt to the ropes, but a kick from Matt gives Hardy the chance to turn it around. Steve in the corner and Matt lays in with punches before sending him across the ring. Matt goes to splash Steve but Steve avoids as Josh Matthew reminds you to BUY SOME MERCH LIKE THE COOL KIDS HAVE. Steve with a low dropkick sends Matt to the mat. Running knee strike from Crazzy Steve to the back of Matt Hardy’s head, Steve covers; one, two– kickout.
Steve clubs at Matt’s head before deciding to bite his forehead. Matt tries to recover in the corner, but Steve rushes in for the Cannonball, only for Matt to avoid and send Steve crashing into the turnbuckles. Matt smashes Crazzy into the top turnbuckle, but Steve tries to get out of the ring, only for Matt to follow and smash Steve into anything he can as the crowd chants “DELETE!” Steve escapes back into the ring, tries to attack Matt as he follows, but a Side Effect from Matt Hardy almost gets the victory with a two-count.
Steve and Matt trade off some nasty blows, but Steve grabs Matt’s nose and forces Hardy into the corner as Matthews and Pope wonder where Abyss and Rosemary are. Steve with clotheslines in the corner, Steve charges the corner and is tossed over the ropes and onto the floor. Brother Nero attacks Steve as the referee is distracted by Matt, and Nero rolls Steve back into the ring. “DELETE, DELETE!!” the crowd chants as Matt is gesturing mid-ring, Steve back up, and Matt Hardy with the Twist of Hate! One, two, three! Matt Hardy has defeated one of the TNA Tag Team Champions!
Winner: BROKEN Matt Hardy by pinfall (Twist of Hate)
Matt and Nero are heading up the ramp as Steve gets on the mic, laughing. The Hardys stop and look into the ring. Steve says that for all of Matt’s broken brilliance, he sure is blind to what’s going on around him. Steve came here alone, but Decay is everywhere. Including the Hardy Estate. King Maxell no longer belongs to Matt and Reby; for now, he’s Rosemary’s baby. Matt rushes off with Brother Nero in tow.
“The X-Division is impossible to explain,” Braxton Stutter tells us. He’s gonna try and walk us through it. Andrew Everett tells us that the X-Division means everything to TNA. You need to be incredibly versatile, Mandrews informs us. “We’re the type of people that have what you’d call ‘no fear’,” Rockstar Spud explains. DJZ tells us that every time they job off the top rope, they could have their career cut short. They keep alternating speakers between lines. The X-Division is fueled by adrenalin, and the toll it takes on your body is unlike anything else in this world. It’s willingly playing Russian Roulette with your career. There’s no fear in the X-Division. The X-Division Championship built this company. “We’re about to take things to a whole nother level,” DJZ says, “a whole nother kind of crazy. I am X.”
— Commercial break —
A recap of the end of the Hardy/Crazzy Steve match is shown. In the back, Matt Hardy approaches Brother Nero, saying he fears that “Loco Steve” may not be… I know he said “bluffing”, but with that crazy accent he’s doing, it almost sounded like “bloating”. Matt’s premonition may be coming true; their abode may be in peril. He must notify Reby immediately, using this VIDEO INTERFACE. We see on Reby’s phone that “Broken Matt Hardy would like to FaceTime,” but nobody picks up the line. Matt gets on another phone and instructs Vanguard One to scan the grounds. He’s looking for, and I love this, “Decayed Zombie Brother Neros”, with a height of 18 ft., 2 in., and a weight of 700 lbs.. “Other attributes: Like to eat brains, love dark lights, have a rewards card at Hot Topic, love Marilyn Manson.” That’s just fantastic. There’s also a list of known aliases, and that’s just a cute touch. As Vanguard One continues to search, we see that someone is looking at Reby’s phone; it’s King Maxel in his crib. The camera pans up and we see Rosemary just outside.
Back in the ring, and Ultimate X is set up. This is the Ultimate X Gauntlet Match to determine the X-Division Champion.
TNA X-Division Championship – Ultimate X Gauntlet Match
Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ
“The Carolina Caveman” Trevor Lee and DJZ will start things off. Apparently, the way this works is that, unlike a traditional Gauntlet Match where after you defeat your opponent another one is sent down, new competitors will come to the ring at intervals. It is mentioned that DJZ and Trevor Lee have a wonderful opportunity to get the victory before there are more competitors to muddle things because you don’t have to wait for everyone else to be involved before you can win.
Lee charges Z, but Z ducks and hammers Lee with elbows. Lee into the corner and Z kicks away at him before clubbing him down. Lee elbows Z and sends him to the ropes, but Z catches him with a hurricanrana. Lee in the corner and DJZ charges, Lee sends DJZ over, but Z lands on the apron, shoulders Lee in the gut, sunset flips into the ring, both men to the ropes and DJZ with a flying clothesline takes Trevor Lee down. Z points to the X-Division Championship and starts climbing up, but Lee yanks him down and elbows him in the back of the neck. Lee goes up the rigging, but DJZ yanks him off the ropes and then throws him out of the ring.
We see the rest of the competitors backstage waiting for their chance to head to the ring as back to the action, DJZ is on the top turnbuckle and flying body splashes Trevor Lee as Lee charges DJZ’s position. DJZ with a jawbreaker, springboards over Lee and catches him with a flying back elbow off the ropes. DJZ goes to the rigging again, but Lee yanks him down, Z lands on his feet and smashes Lee with an elbow that just sounds like pain. Lee knees Z in the gut and kicks away at him as the countdown begins. Lee tosses Z to the ropes and is caught with a kick as the countdown reaches 0…
Andrew Everett is the next entrant.
Everett rushes the ring, hops up on the apron, and knocks DJZ down. DJZ grabs the bottom rope, flips over the bottom rope and gives Everett a freakin’ hurricanrana on the outside! That was pretty cool. Trevor Lee goes for a suicide dive but Z cuts him off with a flying forearm. DJZ hops on the apron to continue the attack, but Everett yanks him off the apron as Lee hops over the ropes to the apron and hits DJZ with a running kick that not only sounded nasty and looked nasty, but had so much momentum behind it that Trevor Lee was dumped off the apron and onto the floor himself! I wouldn’t mind being DJZ’s dentist right now.
The Helms Dynasty hits the ring, and both men start climbing the Ultimate X. Everett makes it to the suspension cables as DJZ gets back into the ring and goes on the attack, but Trevor Lee stops Z from getting far. Lee tells Everett to get off the X, and they start attacking Z. Stomps, chops, kicks, but perhaps stupidly, neither man goes for the X. Irish whip from the Helms Dynasty sends DJZ across the ring, the Dynasty goes for a double team clothesline but Z ducks, go behind on Everett, and shoves Everett into a charging Trevor Lee. Z charges Lee, but Everett hits a drop toe hold that sends DJZ right into a nasty knee from Lee. Like, ouch. Z looks out, done, son.
Lee hits the rigging a bit of miscommunication between the two as the countdown begins. It looks like Lee is going to hit the cables and Everett is going to let Lee stand on his shoulders to head toward the X-Division Championship as the countdown hits 0…
Mandrews is the next entrant.
Mandrews mad rushes the ring as the Helms Dynasty is just inches from the X-Division Championship. He grabs Everett, leaving Lee suspended, northern lights suplex to Everett and Mandrews rolls through as Lee loses his grip on the cables. Lee charges Mandrews, Mandrews with a drop toe hold puts the two members of the Helms Dynasty in a compromising position, and Mandrews with a standing moonsault for the exclamation point. “I’ve seen six-one-nines in the ring, but, that was a little weird,” chimes in Pope as the crowd chants “Mandrews!”
Lee up in the corner and Mandrews charges and connects with a flying forearm. And one for Andrew Everett. Lee charges, duck and a go behind from Mandrews, Lee with a go behind of his own, looks to go for a German suplex but Mandrews victory rolls forward but pops to his feet and double stomps Lee! Mandrews charges Everett in the corner again, but Everett gets a boot up. Everett goes for a standing suplex but Mandrews pops out and somehow connects with a stunner to Everett that sends Everett flying! That was rather damn impressive! Mandrews heads for the Ultimate X, but Lee out of nowhere tries to grab him down. Lee gets elbowed back down to the mat and Mandrews hops to the cables. Andrew Everett up on the turnbuckle, trying to knock Mandrews down, but Mandrews with a hurricanrana sends Everett flying! Mandrews with a running shooting star press to Trevor Lee as we cut to the back and see Rockstar Spud and Braxton Stutter argue over who’ll be entering next.
— Commercial break —
Back from break and Trevor Lee and DJZ are in the ring, but neither man is standing. Braxton Sutter entered the match during the break, but is nowhere to be seen as the last countdown begins.
Rockstar Spud is the final entrant.
Spud rushes down to the ring, takes a moment on the ramp to assess the situation, then heads to one of the Ultimate X rigs. He says a little prayer, speeds up to the cable and starts making the trek to the middle. He gets about 2/3 of the way there, but then Braxton Sutter appears right under the Championship and taunts Spud. Spud thinks better of it and turns around, heading back to the rigging. Spud back to the turnbuckle but it’s no safe haven as Sutter grabs Spud and tosses him mid-ring! Sutter mounts Spud and lays in with punches. Spud up, takes to the ropes and Sutter ducks a clothesline before hitting a power slam on Spuds way back. Sutter sends Spud into the corner, goes to charge, but Trevor Lee out of nowhere with a Superman punch sends Sutter reeling out of the ring. Mandrews in and sends Lee flying out of the ring with a hurricanrana. Mandrews takes to the far side ropes and a tope connects with Lee and Sutter, and it looks like Andrew Everett avoided contact. DJZ is back in the ring and looks to one-up Mandrews, but Everett pops up on the apron and cuts Z off with a shoulder tackle from the apron. Everett decides to be crazy and an Asai moonsault from the top rope takes Mandrews, Sutter, and Lee down!
DJZ is alone in the ring, but Spud craws in and makes for the Ultimate X. Z gets up and stops Spud’s rush by grabbing him off the top, atomic drop by Z but he springs Spud up and over as Z turns himself around, crashing Spud’s face into DJZ’s knee! What do you even call that? Let me get my Joey Styles on. “BACK DROP FACE BREAKER FROM DJZ, OH, MY GAWD!” DJZ sees across the ring that his opportunity has once again presented itself so he goes for it; middle rope knee-catch tope takes out Mandrews, Sutter, and the Helms Dynasty!
Z back inside the ring, but the Dynasty yanks him out. DJZ leapfrogs Lee and goes for the flying back elbow he connected with earlier in the match but Lee catches him and throws him into the stairs! DJZ’s dentist and chiropractor are going to be very happy men. Lee in the ring and heads for the rigging. Mandrews stops him but catches a back elbow. Mandrews fires back with elbows of his own, takes to the far side ropes, but Lee catches Mandrews with a double stomp! Lee turns around into an elbow from Braxton Sutter, and the two start hammering each other. Lee gets the advantage, takes to the ropes, but Sutter follows him and lands a clothesline to send Lee out over the top rope! Everett back in the ring and sends Sutter out as Mandrews gets back to his feet and charges Everett. Everett grabs Mandrews and sets him on the top turnbuckle and connects with an overhead kick that just slumps Mandrews. Sutter back into the ring and turns Everett inside out with a clothesline. Lee back in, release German suplex! Lee still down and Mandrews connects with a shooting star press! Everett back in and Mandrews charges, Everett with a hurricanrana that just spikes Mandrews right on his head! Everett up and Sutter charges him, connecting with a nasty knee right to the face! Sutter is alone in the ring and heads to the Ultimate X, he’s on the cables, making his way, but Rockstar Spud in the ring with a chair and smashes Sutter to knock him off the cables!
Spud goes to town on Sutter with the chair, and as Sutter rolls out of the ring, Spud raises the chair in celebration, just in time for Mandrews to springboard in with a dropkick to smashes the chair right into Spud’s adult braces! Mandrews is thrown out by Andrew Everett who then heads to the rigging with Trevor Lee on the other side. Everett on the cables, using his legs to keep a low profile on the cable, and Mandrews springs on the top rope to try and take Everett down but can’t grab ahold of the cable and lands hard in the ring! Lee is also crawling towards the Championship with his legs on the cables, but Everett and Lee are both struggling with the Championship. They get the title off the cables, but neither man has it secure when DJZ springs off the top rope and grabs it from them!
Winner and NEW TNA X-Division Champion: DJZ (via Ultimate X shenanigans)
DJZ celebrates in-and-out of the ring as some highlights are shown.
In the back, Ethan Carter III talks about last week’s main event. Carter proved that he deserves to be the challenger at Bound for Glory. What happened between Galloway and Rex? It’s unfortunate, but not his business; his business is the World Heavyweight Championship. He’s focusing on tonight’s main event.
Eli Drake pops in and tells Carter not to focus on those “yay-hoos,” but to focus on Eli Drake. He’s pulling for Carter at Bound for Glory because tonight, Carter is gonna lay down and Drake’ll be the automatic Number One Contender for Carter’s World Heavyweight Championship. And he’ll have to cherish that moment because there’s one guy that’s gonna take it from him and that’s Eli Drake, and that’s just a fact of life.
Carter says the fact is, Drake’s gonna get his ass kicked tonight. Drake questions the claim, but Carter is pretty sure he’s gonna kick Eli Drake’s ass. And we’ll see that match tonight.
In another part of the back, we hear steps rushing a hoodie boy. It’s Drew Galloway. “I suppose you want to know what happened,” Galloway turns around to face the camera, “but this isn’t the place. And you’re certainly not the person. I’m gonna head back to where all this occurred, and if you like it or not, I don’t care, but I’m gonna tell you exactly what’s going on in my head right now.” Galloway turns and walks off.
— Commercial break —
Back in the Impact Zone, we’re shown the end of the Knockouts Championship match from last week where Allie became the unlikely Champion.
Drew Galloway is heading to the ring. With the hair in his face and the hoodie on, it looks like maybe he borrowed The Decay’s Hot Topic Rewards card. Galloway in the ring, mic in hand, and it’s time for @GallowaySpeaks to… speaks. “Why, Drew? Why?” the crowd chants. Drew says he’s been asking himself “Why?” as well. Why did he stand up for this place, everyone in the back, everyone in the Impact Zone when he first came to TNA? When he won the World Heavyweight Championship, he went out into the Impact Zone and they partied for a week. When he lost the title, when Carter screwed him repeatedly, the crowd cheered Carter over him. And then Aron Rex showed up, saying the same things Galloway said when he first arrived, and injected himself into the main event scene by convincing that other Carter that he should be referee. When Carter won, Drew looked to the crowd, and the crowd wasn’t cheering for the match, for the effort, for the war. They weren’t cheering in appreciation, no, they were cheering for the damn referee. The Impact Zone turned their back on Drew Galloway. It was their fault, not Aron Rex’s.
Drew sees what Aron Rex is doing. He’s done it, after all. He’s set an example; he’s become a verb. To “Do a Drew,” is to succeed in spite of others through your talent. Rex is trying to be the next Drew. But Drew is Aron Rex’s messiah, and he had to teach Aron Rex a lesson. And if he sees Rex again, he’s gonna put Rex in the hospital.
Billy Corgan comes to the ring. Corgan says that Galloway’s actions are reprehensible. The man Galloway savagely beat, the man Corgan personally appointed as special guest referee, was an “usurpation of [Corgan’s] authority and effrontery to everyone in the back.” Seems Drew has a case of the “Scottish paranoia.” Corgan has considered suspending Drew without pay, but a little bird talked him out of it.
Galloway is disappointed in Corgan. For someone that was such a rebel, so anti-authority, he’s become the establishment. He’s the President, but someone in his ear is telling him what to do. Drew guesses Corgan’s gone from a leader to Dixie Carter’s li’l bitch. Billy says that’s real cute. But it wasn’t Dixie that convinced Corgan not to suspend Drew; “It was me,” says Aron Rex as he arrives on the entryway behind Corgan. “I don’t need you suspended, princess,” Rex continues, “we’re gonna do this my way.” Aron Rex shuffles down the entrance ramp with this really awkward shuffle and Galloway meets him by the floor and they two brawl! Aron turtles Drew (pulls his hoodie up over his head so that Drew doesn’t have proper use of his arms and can’t see,) and beats on him before sending him into the ring stairs, again and again. Rex grabs a chair to follow up, but security stops him. Drew charges Rex and takes him down, landing blows, but security regroups and pulls them apart until Drew starts laying into them with headbutts. Rex and Galloway collide again, tumbling down the ramp, and the locker room starts emptying to separate them.
In the back, Moose paces back and forth. He’s the X-factor in the main event. What will he do? Will he side with Lashley? Is he still Bennett’s friend? Or will he not get involved? We’ll find out tonight.
Matt Hardy is still trying to FaceTime Reby, but she’s there. She was doing laundry, and for some reason didn’t have her phone with her? I know girl pants don’t have pockets, but, c’mon. That’s just being completely uncaring about the fact that weird people are going to come to your house to stir up trouble. Remember brandishing that sword earlier? C’mon, Reby. Don’t be so stupid, stupid. Anyway, Matt warns her that Rosemary and Abyss may be on their way, and suddenly Reby remembers that stuff might be goin’ down. Tonight’s match with “Loco Steve” was just a set-up; Matt needs Reby to make sure she and King Maxel are absolutely safe. She will, but Matt needs to get home immediately. Vanguard One interrupts to let Matt know that Rosemary is inside the house.
— Commercial break —
TNA Wrestling Presents “One Night Only: Xtravaganza”, available now on PPV!
A recap of the confrontation between Drew Galloway and Aron Rex is shown. “It’s literally just the beginning,” says Matthews.
Eli Drake heads to the ring, followed shortly by EC3.
Eli Drake vs. Ethan Carter III
Carter and Drake tie-up, jockeying for position, and it heads to the corner. The ref tries to separate them, and Drake takes a cheap shot on Carter before punching him around the ring. Whip to the corner and Carter explodes out of the turnbuckles and levels Drake with a lariat. Carter lays in with punches but Drake cuts him off with a knee before taking to the ropes, only for Carter to chop him down. Carter with a biel sends Drake across the ring, and Drake gets up right into a clothesline from Carter sending him over the ropes to the outside. Drake takes a bottle of water from a fan at ringside and heads up the ramp, but Carter cuts him off. Drake spits at Carter and hits him with the bottle, clubbing Carter to the ring before Carter stops a smash into the apron and sends Drake into it instead. Drake tries to escape but Carter chops him against the guard rail. Drake returns the favor, but Carter didn’t much like that and chops Drake down before sending him into the ring. Drake catches Carter with a float-over DDT as Carter gets back in, cover; one, two– kickout.
Carter pulls himself to the ropes and Drake chokes him on the middle rope. He punches away at Carter in the corner, standing suplex, cover; one, two– kickout.
Drake tries to lead the crowd in an “E-li Drake” chant, picks Carter up, Irish whip, Carter with a sunset flip pin; one, two– kickout.
Both men up, Carter looking for the TK3, but Drake rakes Carter’s eyes as Carter’s back was to the ref. Drake with a Sky Lord Slam, cover; Carter kicks out at two.
“E-li Drake!” Drake with a jumping elbow drop as Matthews and Pope argue over Connor McGregor, “that MMA guy” that Pope doesn’t want to give any attention to. Drake with a rear chin lock, but Carter doesn’t waste much time getting to a vertical base. Carter spins him around into a chin breaker, sends Drake reeling into the corner, and Carter goes for a splash. Carter misses, Drake with a leaping neckbreaker, flies into the corner; Carter out at two.
Drake starts clubbing at Carter’s head and stomping at his back. Carter gets back to his feet and the two start trading blows until Drake cuts Carter off with a knee. Irish whip from Drake, reverses, Drake off the ropes and he goes for the float-over DDT but Carter lifts Drake up for the TK3 and this time connects! Carter feeling the momentum takes Drake down with a lariat, back elbow, and then a chin crusher sends Drake into the corner. EC3 Splash in the corner, Carter sends Drake into the ropes and tosses him up for a flapjack! Carter calls for the One-Percenter, connects, covers; one, two, three!
Winner: Ethan Carter III via pinfall (One-Percenter)
In the back, Jeremy Borash talks about the new Knockouts Champion. Allie pops into view with balloons. Ms. Maria gave Allie a list; balloons, confetti, streamers. Wanna know why? Allie’s gonna have her own celebration! It’s gonna be the greatest moment of her life! You know what that means! She’s gonna catch a beatin’!
— Commercial break —
“Rebecca! Rosemary is een the hawuse!” We see that Matt Hardy hasn’t made even one step towards the door after his wife demanded he return home. He still has his two phones out, one talking to Reby and one waiting for Vanguard One. Reby takes Maxel behind the Hardy Cinema XI, hiding in a closet. The door starts to open and Reby grabs her still-sheathed sword, but it’s the groundskeeper. Reby hands Maxel off to him, tells him to keep Maxel safe because she’s going to get that bitch Rosemary herself.
DJZ is the X-Division Champion for the first time in four years. He didn’t think it’d happen. Plenty of problems in those years. Girl problems, health problems, personal problems. But he’s been working harder than ever. He stopped doing just enough; he started working harder and let’s see if it pays off. Eddie Edwards pops in to congratulate Z, and the X-Division Championship is proof that hard work pays off.
The ring is decorated with balloons and a bottle of bubbly. Allie is introduced and she comes to the ring with balloons and a look of amazement. “This is a celebration… of the new TNA Knockouts Champion, me, Allie!” She wants to say “thank you” to everyone in the Impact Zone that chanted her name last week. It would have never been possible without one person; someone who is the moon and the stars and the most amazing person in the world– but Sienna comes out instead! She’s upset, and Maria is chasing Sienna, trying to calm her down.
Sienna corners Allie, shouting “How could you do this to me?!” and Maria gets Sienna to back away, but she grabs Allie by the wrist and drags her behind. Maria says it’s Gail Kim’s fault. Maria gives Sienna the night off, tells her to go to the back, like the rest of the Knockouts. “Allie, you’re always so excited to do every single thing I say,” Maria says with a smile that’s about as fake as her hair, “but I think you’re a little confused about this celebration…” Allie is truly honored for the celebration Maria wanted for her. Maria laughs and asks if Allie really thought the celebration was really for her. Who would want to celebrate Allie, her assistant? She’s worthless. She messes up everything. The celebration isn’t for Allie; it’s for Allie’s opponent. Allie reminds Maria that Maria gave all the Knockouts the night off, so there’s no one to be her opponent. Maria says she wants Allie to lay down and calls for a referee. Allie doesn’t want to lie down. Maria asks if she wants her job. Allie was nothing before Maria found her, so she better lay down. Allie starts crying, she doesn’t want to, but Maria throws her down. Maria tells the referee to ring the bell.
TNA Knockouts Championship Match
Allie (c) vs. Maria
Maria covers a crying Allie with the least amount of effort possible, almost looking like she doesn’t even want to touch her; one, two, three.
Winner and NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: Maria via pinfall
Maria cuts Borash off as he tries to announce the results. Maria goads Allie into standing up and orders her to put the Knockouts Championship around her waist. Maria orders her to announce her as Knockouts Champion, which Allie does through crying. Streamers rain down as Maria helps herself to the bottle of booze before leaving the ring in victory.
In the back, Moose is still pacing. That dang concrete must be worn down. Bennett approaches, saying that the divide between them is Lashley’s doing, not Bennett’s or Moose’s. Lashley is trying to get into both of their heads. Moose can’t believe what he reads on the interwebnetbox. You think Tom Brady, Moose’s former teammate in the NFL, listens to people saying he deflated footballs? No. Tonight is their Super Bowl. But they can’t win without the right equipment. Bennett hands Moose a section of pipe and says he knows Moose’ll do the right thing. For “us”.
Our main event is next.
— Commercial break —
In the Hardy Cinema, Reby encounters Rosemary. Reby draws her sword and Rosemary somehow slides up a firehouse pole inside the cinema, which I’m not even going to ask why someone would have a damn firehouse pole inside their private movie theater. That’s right, that’s the question I’m not going to ask. Reby somehow ends up outside, and Rosemary suddenly appears on the balcony above the front door with a baby swaddled in her arms. “Oh, Rebecca, shall we see just how much you love your baby?” Rosemary throws the baby off the balcony and Reby barely catches the bundle! It’s just a doll, though, a decoy! Rosemary is gone and Reby breaks down. The groundskeeper somehow appears with Maxel, and Reby scoops him up. Rosemary is gone. The groundskeeper says she’s left. Reby says that nobody comes into her house and messes with her family. Reby tells Señor Benjamin to prepare the battlefield for massacre.
Back in the Impact Zone, Maria welcomes the Impact Zone to her place of worship. And she would like to introduce to them the future World Heavyweight Champion, The Miracle. Josh Matthews says tonight could be a banner night for the Bennetts. Pope calls Lashley a “tank that moves like a racecar.”
No-Disqualification- TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match
Lashley (c) vs. “The Miracle” Mike Bennett
The two men circle. Maria tries to distract Lashley so Bennett can sneak attack but Lashley catches Bennett with a back elbow. Bennett in the corner and Lashley starts the assault laying heavy punches and then kicks, and then just slamming his giant shoulder into the gut before taking to the ropes and driving his shoulder even harder into Bennett’s midsection. Lashley picks Bennett up, whips him across the ring, Bennett tries to jump back over Lashley but instead just lands on Lashley’s shoulder. Lashley loses his grip, though, and Bennett slides off Lashley’s back. Lashley goes for a lariat but Bennett ducks and punches Lashley in the head. Bennett looks like he’s about to collapse and Lashley doesn’t even seem to register that he just got punched. Bennett off the ropes and Lashley leap frogs Bennett before taking him down with a lariat. Lashley picks Bennett up, standing suplex and keeps Bennett upside down for almost ten seconds while Matthews talks about Big Brother. No, seriously. Lashley waits for Bennett to get up, looking for the Spear, but is stopped as Moose makes his way to the ring, pipe in hand.
— Commercial break —
We return to action and Bennett is punching and stomping at a downed Lashley. Lashley tries to get to his feet but Bennett smashes him into the corner. Irish whip to the far corner and Bennett follows up with a splash and follows that up with a big boot. Bennett covers; Lashley out at a flat two.
Bennett waits for an opportunity before a low dropkick to Lashley’s head. And another. Bennett covers; one, t– not even two.
The crowd is chanting pretty heavily for Lashley and Bennett mocks them and him. Lashley picks Bennett up and Maria in the ring hits Lashley in the back with her wrist brace! Lashley drops Bennett and tries to figure out what just happened, giving Bennett the opportunity to hit a flying back elbow. Bennett covers; barely two.
Bennett picks Lashley up and tosses him out of the ring. Bennett gets the referees attention as Moose stalks him, and it’s Maria again! She clobbers Lashley with the Knockouts Championship! Lashley is down! Maria tries to lift Lashley up to get him back into the ring, but doesn’t have much success. Moose, however, accomplishes the task easily. Bennett covers; one, two, t– kickout!
Bennett back to his feet, he pulls Lashley up and clobbers him with a heavy right. Lashley picked back up, Bennett sets the Champion on his shoulders, looking for the Miracle in Progress but Lashley squirms free, school boy; one, two– kickout!
Bennett charges Lashley, but Lashley with a side slam. Bennett in the corner and Lashley charges, splashing Bennett into the turnbuckles! Lashley pulls Bennett up into a torture rack, but Bennett fights free. Bennett to the ropes, and Lashley catches him with a HUGE spinebuster! Lashley calls for the Spear, but Maria grabs his feet giving Bennett the opportunity to hit a Diamond Cutter. Bennett covers; one, two, thr– kickout!
Bennett calls to Moose, “Now’s the time!” He wants the pipe, and Moose is going to hand it to him– wait, no! Moose pulls the pipe away! Moose starts leaving the arena, laughing, and Bennett doesn’t see what Moose sees! Bennett turns around, LASHLEY WITH THE SPEAR! Lashley covers; one, two, three!
Winner and STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Lashley by pinfall (Spear)
Lashley celebrates and Moose drops the pipe. After the instant replay, we see Lashley walk past a smiling Moose. Bennett gets a mic and calls Moose a dumb animal and orders him into Bennett’s ring. Moose complies as Bennett complains that he can’t breathe. Bennett slowly gets to his feet. “Who in God’s green Earth do you think you are?” Bennett asks through labored breathing. Moose is a failed football player; he’s nothing without Bennett! Moose does what Bennett says, when Bennett says it. If Moose ever does something like that again, Bennett swears to God that he’ll make sure Moose never wrestles again. When Moose doesn’t seem to respond, Bennett slaps him hard. Moose grins and turns around with a nasty lariat to Bennett! The crowd chants “Moose! Moose!” and Moose leads them in their chant.
Abyss and Crazzy Steve are in a car headed towards Cameron, North Carolina, which Abyss says he hears is “beautiful this time of year.” We see scenes of the battlefield being prepared, but also being used. Someone thrown into a pool, a barb wire-covered bat hitting a tree, someone drop kicking a shed, and at the end, Señor Benjamin digging with a shovel labeled “DELETE”. Next week, delete or decay.
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