Flashback Reviews CHIKARA Bruised

I need something to make me happy after reviewing freaking WrestleMania 13. So we are going to back to the world of CHIKARA. Bruised is the first event after the previously reviewed CIBERNETICO and Robin. At this time CHIKARA is closing up Chris Hero's time as the top bad guy in CHIKARA and getting ready to go ahead with things like the Unstable in 2008. Now this event had two big matches on it the rematch between rookie wrestler Tim Donst and the hard hitting Eddie Kingston as we'll as Campeones De Parejas (Tag Team Titles) match between champions FIST and Incoherence. So will CHIKARA leave me felling bruised or will it give me that spirt of fun I need. 

CHIKARA Director of Fun Leonard F Chikarason welcomes us to the show backstage. Eddie Kingston interrupts and mentions the recent podcast CHIKARASON. LFC reputes that no one calls his phone more than Eddie and always demands something. Chikarason says  why Kingston has publicly demeaning a match with Hallowicked he privately been ducking him. LFC tell Eddie the match is set for  a show and Kingston needs to be there. LFC leaves and Kingston starts cutting a promo on Donst. Kingston talks about how everyone says this match is about revenge. Kingston says Donst won't make a name off him. Kingston starts talking the various Golden Children of CHIKARA and the problems they are having. Kingston asks Donst if he wants to come down this path and say its it will be worse than what happened in Connecticut. The open of the promo was strange as this was the only time they really brought up the idea Eddie was really ducking Hallowicked and the promo was just Kingston rambling

The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple UltraMantis Black, Hydra and Cross Bones vs USAPE, Moscow the Communist Bovine and Dragon Dragon- Pre match Mantis has Hydra do a test of strength pulling a toy car with his teeth. Just some wacky fun. Moscow you may know better as Dasher Hatfield early in his career his gimmick was he was a CAW. He would spend a part of the year with no gimmick than debut a new one at Young Lion's Cup finally Dasher got over so much CHIKARA dropped the CAW and kept him as Dasher. Moscow, USAPE and Dragon Dragon are two guys in massive costumes and it's the kind of stuff only CHIKARA could get away with. Moscow had beat Hydra at Young Lion's Cup that year. Hydra has taken to wearing a zip up muscle costume to sell how powerful he is but he needs help tearing his shirt off Hulk Hogan style. USAPE and Hydra start us off. Lock up and neither man and get the advantage. Hydra calls for test of strength but USAPE has his glove on backwards so Hydra for gets it and just charge. USAPE rolls under him. Shoulder tackle no sold. USAPE with a flying shoulder tack and a couple of power slams. Hydra to the floor.  USAPE tags Moscow but it's not a friendly the announcer jokingly play up there might be some issues between the two given there stances on politics. Mantis in for his team. Mantis who is a vegan refused to hurt Moscow so he tags in Crossbones hits Moscow and his head costume head moves around the wrong ways. Moscow recovers and drives the knee into the face. Moscow sets up for the Gore but Crossbones moves. Second Gore hits and Moscow tags in Dragon Dragon. Mantis in for his team. Mantis declares he won't wrestle Dragon either but its a trick and hits Dragon when his back turned. Arm drag and a sweep by Dragon Dragon gets two. Mantis with a sweep and a press but Dragon Dragon powers free. Mantis shoves Dragon Dragon who responds in kind and than hits a corner splash. American Dragon style elbows by Dragon Dragon. Tail whip by Dragon Dragon. tag to USAPE who hits a flying cross body. Power slam by the monkey. Mantis to the floor. USAPE takes flight and dives over the post to whip out the entire portal. Back to the ring. Mantis scores with a neck breaker than a head butt. Dragon Sleeper by Mantis. Tag to Hydra who comes in with a double ax. Tag to Crossbones who comes in with kicks to the back of USAPE. Crossbones with a choke. Tag to Mantis  who hits a double ax handle.  Overhead chop by Mantis. Double clothesline and both men are down. USAPE tags in Dragon Dragon and Mantis tags in Hydra. Clotheslines for everyone in the Neo-Solar Temple. Series of Dragon kicks by Dragon Dragon. Dragon Dragon follow Mantis to the floor and pounds on him. Hydra and Moscow in the ring and Moscow hits the Russian Sickle. Cross bones and Mantis makes the save. Cow tip by the Temple but USAPE makes the save. Hydra tries to Gorilla press USAPE. USAPE escapes and goes for it. Mantis and Cross Bones clip the legs. The Temple slam Hydra on to USAPE for the win. This was meant to be a comedy match and the admit on commentary it was booked since Halloween was coming up. Still it's a fun opener hell the guys in massive costumes were fun to watch Ryback or Mark Henry will ever be. 

Dragon Yuki vs Jigsaw- Dragon Yuki was a heavyset Japanese wrestler out of KAGEKI Pro and Jigsaw was one of CHIKARA's top guys. Wrist lock by Jigsaw. Yuki gets free and gets a headlock on the ground. Head scissors by Jigsaw Dragon Yuki escapes. Wrist lock into a arm bar by Jigsaw but Yuki gets a trip. Jig escapes into a chin lock and than cannonballs onto the back. Big hip toss by Dragon Yuki than a splash into the corner. Twist cross body off the second rope by Jigsaw. Rana by Jigsaw. Drop toe hold into a submission for Jigsaw. Yuki gets the ropes. Yuki with a power slam after blocking one from Jigsaw. Summersault senton by Yuki witch is pretty impressive given how heavy the guy appears to be. Dropkick to the leg by Jigsaw and than he hangs the leg on the rope and does it again. Dragon screw leg whip into a knee bar by Jigsaw. Dragon Yuki gets the rope so Jigsaw with a leg drop than a kick to the leg.  Toe and ankle lock by Jigsaw. Yuki powers free. Another dragon screw into the knee bar by Jigsaw. Yuki counters into a half crab but Jigsaw gets the ropes. More kicks to the leg by Jigsaw. Clothesline by Dragon Yuki than over hand chops a running forearm. Snap suplex by Dragon Yuki gets two. Tornado DDT by Jigsaw gets two. Superkick by Jigsaw and Yuki kicks out again. Jigsaw to the top but Yuki slams him off. Fishermen's buster by Dragon Yuki gets two. Jigsaw clips the leg and locks in the condo clutch with a body scissors for the win for Jigsaw. Good match very well wrestled. This was right after the end of his team with Shane Storm and they seemed to be hinting Jigsaw could go Rudo as he did wrestle more aggressive than usual in this match. 

The Osirian Portal Amasis and Ophidian vs Cheech and Cloudy-  Each team entered with one point towards a title shot. Ophidian and Cloudy start us off. Takedown by Ophidian and he ties up the leg than the arms. Wrist lock by Ophidian. Cloudy flips free but gets taken down with a trip. Arm drag by Cloudy than an arm drag into an arm bar. Rolls up by Ophidian gets two. Tag to Amasis and tag to Cheech. Amasis gets upset when the people won't' stop clapping. Cheech power Amasis to the corner and breaks clean. Amasis power Cheech breaks clean but he does dance. Cheech with some jab and a dance. Amasis with a dance and and a upper cut knee drop by Amasis. Belly to back suplex by Cheech. Tag Cloudy. Double team splash than snap suplex by Cloudy. Sling shot Senton by Cheech who is in on a lucha tag. Tag back to Cloudy who climbs on Cheech's back and hits a senton onto Amasis. Sleeper by Cloudy but Amasis gets free and hits a power slam. Tag to Ophidian who comes in with forearms. Cheech knocked off the apron. Snake dance hypnotism by the Portal. series of Double team by the portal on Cloudy. Leg drop by Ophidian and a splash by Amasis. Tag to Amasis. Power slam by Amasis gets two. Gut wrench suplex series by Amasis. Tag to Ophidian who locks in a leg full nelson that is rolled into a pin for two. Torture rack into a stunner by Cloudy both men are down. Double tag and Cheech in with a big series of lariats. Back breaks by Cheech . Amaisi escapes a power bomb and gets a front trip. Ophidian in and locks in the death grip. Cloudy in with a enziquri to break the hold. Amasis sent across the ropes. Partly Cloudy with a chance of Cheech or a 619 with a drop kick to the back. Power bomb shinning wizard combo for the win by Cheech and Cloudy. Good match some nice exchanges. Again I'm amazing at how good the very green Osirian Portal were.

Brodie Lee, Jimmy Olsen and Colin Olsen vs the Colony Worker, Fire, and Solider Ant- Pre match the Olesen's call Brodie there BFF and it will be a night off them vs the ants. The Colony had beat the Olesens in one match but lost a six man with Brodie Lee and the Olsen Twins. Fire charges at Brodie and gets knocked back but this give Worker and Solider a chance to take out the Olsen Twins. Brodie goes at the other two ants but they duck and he goes over the top rope. Ant a pult by the Colony sends Fire to the floor taking out Lee, Jimmy and Colin. In the ring Solider with a suplex on Jimmy a plancha gets two. Arm drag by Solider after he forces Jimmy to salute. Victory roll  and a suicide dive by Solider whips out Jimmy. Worker and Colin in Enziquri by Worker than a neck breaker gets two. Dropkick by Worker but he gets kicked in the face by Lee. Tag to Brodie Lee who comes in and pounds on Worker. Worker goes for a cross body but caught into another lights bomb. Jimmy tags in and stomps at Worker. Tag to Colin and he twist the neck and than slams Worker before the diving lariat and gets two. Brodie Lee back in and chops Worker before a pump handle slam. Jimmy and hits a a punch to the ribs. Tag to Colin. Surfboard with a leg drop but he Olsen Twins gets two. Crosssbody by Worker and he gets to the floor. The Olsen Twins prevent Fire and Solider from entering as Lee tosses Worker back in so there is no lucha tag. Tag to Brodie Lee who chops Worker and power slams him. Knee drop by Brodie. Tag to Colin hits a belly to back suplex. Worker lands on his feet during a second attempt at the move and gets a power slam than DDT. Tag to Solider and to Brodie. Fire climbs onto Solider's shoulder to form GiAnt. Double punches and a moonsault press by worker. Clotheslines takes out the Twins. Ants go Marching on Colin. Fireman's' cary on Jimmy but Brodie makes the save. Triple Team on Lee but he throws them off. Wheel barrow suplex on Fire than a huge lariat on Worker. Running Yakuza on Solider in the corner.  Worker escapes the running liger bomb. Victory roll on Colin as Fire trips Brodie for the win. Good match. I do like the finish one the Colony finding a way to stop Brodie just long enough to beat one of the Twins.  An annoyed Brodie leaves Jimmy and Colin and in funny moment they yell for him to wait since he's there ride home.

Chuck Taylor vs Claudio Castagnoli- Claudio had turned techinco last time out and was now trying to take out the Kings of Wrestling before his one on one match with Chris Hero set for the final event of the year. Claudio charges to the ring and Chuck bails out. Chuck gets scared every time he tries to climb in the ring and even uses the referee to shield himself. Chuck bails out again but this time Claudio follows him. Chuck back to the ring and uses the referee. Chuck shoves the referee at Claudio but that fails. Chuck misses a chop and takes one of his own. Chuck screams in pain like a little girl. Chuck tries to hide under the ring but its to low to the ground to let him in. Headlock by Chuck but Claudio powers free and hits a shoulder tackle. Another shoulder tackle by Claudio than a diving uppercut. Jaw breaker than head butt and shoulder tackles to the stomach by Taylor. Knee drop by Chuck Taylor. Chin lock by Chuck. Claudio power free but Chuck rakes the face. Chuck chokes Claudio on the ropes. Claudio ducks the lariat and hits the bicycle kick. GIANT SWING by Claudio and more screaming by Chuck. Chuck gets the ropes on the pin. Torture tack into a front slam by Claudio gets two. Chuck locks the water slide and gets soul food than a big boot to the head gets two. Knee by Claudio. Backslide by Taylor gets two. Second rope drop kick by Taylor but he runs into the upper cut. Ricola Bomb for the win by Claudio. Very good match the two guys worked well. Chuck gimmick fit well against Claudio since he could act scared against him and scream and not look like a coward since well Chuck always does that. Chuck asks if anyone got the license plate number and than has a member of the ring crew carry him to the back. 

Mitch Ryder vs Equinox- Ryder was a heel who had been feuding with every masked luchador trying to run them back to Mexico. Equinox was a masked wrestler who had mainly been a jobber but had scored a huge upset making Chris Hero tap out to the CHIKARA Special. Pre match Ryder cuts a promo says he is coming to get Lince Dorado. Ryder to floor to gets some heat by insulting fan. Lock up and Ryder gives a clean break. Equinox blocks a kick and gets a fireman's' carry into in. Arm drag and a drop kick sends Ryder to the floor. Equinox with a boot off the apron knocks Mitch over. Ryder calls for a time out. Ryder with a knee to the gut and elbow to the back of than. Hip toss by Equinox but Ryder moves on a kick. Ryder goes for a elbow that misses and he takes an arm drag. Arm bar by Equinox than a arm ringer. Closed fist punch by Ryder to break the hold. Ryder "takes a powder. Equinox goes for a sling shot plancha but Ryder moves and the masked man smacks the floor hard. Knee to the gut by Ryder than a double stomp. Senton by Ryder. Ryder with a pin but he pulls up Equinox. Ryder goes to the eyes when Equinox tries to fight back. Abdominal stretch by Ryder and he grabs the ropes when the referee can't see. Hip toss to get free by Equinox and he gets a back slide for two. Kick to the gut and a pile driver for a clean win by Ryder. Ok match Ryder never wowed me and well Equinox has talent but he wouldn't' really take off until the next year as Vin Gerrard. 

NWA Junior Heavyweight Championship Mike Quackenbush © vs Lince Dorado- The NWA Jr title like the Heavyweight title dates back many years to the early 1950's. It eventually found its way over to Japan where it stayed for decades. Quackenbush had won when Tiger Mask IV was making a US tour. Sadly I think they missed a chance in that match for what appears to be the one and only time in his career Quackenbush went heel but there was never a follow up by the NWA or New Japan. Quackenbush did hold the belt for a few years but again the NWA is such  mess they never really got anything out of it. Lince had scored a number of big wins in CHIKARA witch is why he was getting a shot. Full nelson by Quackenbush but Lince into a wrist lock. Quackenbush counters into one of his own. Lince with a hammer lock Quackenbush with a drop toe hold to free himself. Quackenbush ties up the legs and pulls at the arms  than he shots the half for a two count. Arm drag by Quackenbush and avoids a dropkick. Lince sent to the ground. Lince moves before Quackenbush can dive onto him. Quackenbush O'Conner roll is blocked Lince sends Quackenbush to the floor. Go behind by Quackenbush than a headlock. Lince with an arm drag but Quackenbush with a back breaker than into a gut buster for two. Mitch Ryder and Chuck Taylor run out. Ryder low blows Quack to cause the DQ Taylor handcuffs Quackenbush to the ropes. Ok match but it was a time killer to set up for a heel heat segment.

Ryder starts to whip Lince wit a belt. Reemsberg said Ryder couldn't stand the thought of Lince being a world champion. Ryder starts yelling "I told you boy!" Ryder asks the fans who they like him now. Quackenbush looks on seething. Ryder keeps beating on Lince. Ryder says he will either beat LInce out of the country our beat him every time he sees him. Ryder blames the fans and Leonard F Chikarason for hiring LInce and cheering him. Ryder and Taylor leave someone tosses Quackenbush the key and he frees himself. We see the welts on Lince's back. Its a decent old school segment the problem is Lince was over pushed during his rookie year so a lot of fans had started turning on him. We than see The referee form the match had been taken out and is still on the floor. the ring crew help Lince and referee Derek Sabato to the back. 

Eddie Kingston vs Tim Donst- Donst was  rookie who a few months earlier had gotten the ever loving crap beat out of him by Kingston but he had refused to back down and kept getting so this was the rematch.Donst charges the ring but Kingston sees him coming and stomps. Chop exchanges and Kingston gets the advantage. Donst block and fires back. Kobashi style chop by Donst but King reveres. Donst fires back and gets an STO. Yakuza in the corner by Kingston. Big punch by Donst but Kingston makes him pay with a slap to the face Kingston pulls the head gear off of Donst and than tears of the face. Kingston stands on Donst throat. Kingston with another slap to the face. Yuri Nagi by Kingston than head butts. Kingston is sick of some fan and goes after him (not for real just stall give Donst a chance to recover) security forces Kingston back. Donst with chops  but King with a chop and another head but drops Donst. Donst goes down hard. Hard forearm to the face and back of Donst. Dragon suplex by Kingston drops Donst on his head. Donst gets the ropes. Donst tries a single leg but gets elbowed in the head. Series of strikes by Kingston but Donst is pissed and fights back. Cross faces by Donst and an over head bell to belly suplex. Rear naked choke by Donst is locked in. King gets the ropes but Donst won't break they spill to the floor. King drives Donst into the post to break the hold. Lariat ducked and Donst hits one of his own. Donst back into the ring as referee counts King isn't moving Don't stops the count and goes out to get him. Donst goes for a saito suplex but Kingston elbows free. T-Bone suplex by Kingston. Lariat by Kingston but Donst kicks at two. Regalplex by Donst when he block a toss by Kingston. A second regalplex but Kingston kicks at two. Forearm and a elbow by Kingston. Donst ducks a lariat school boy gets two. Back fist to the future for the win by Kingston. Good match. Normally I am the first to scream "Do the job the younger guy" but here Kingston going over was the right move. He had the big match with Hallowicked coming up and Donst got more out of losing but fighting back than he would have gotten by winning. Post match we see the bruise on the chest of Donst thus giving this show it's title. 

The Entrances are made for the main event but Gran Akuma is out on crutches having suffered an knee injury. Icarus gets a microphone and acts like the match won't happen now.  Leonard F Chikarason rules since Chuck Taylor is also a member of FIST he will have to replace Akuama. Akauam was legit but since CHIKARA had plans based around having face tag team champions they needed to do the change here. Icarus says this isn't fair. Bryce Reemsberg goes to the back and pulls Chuck Taylor out. Chuck screams he is going home. Chikarason says fi there isn't a match the FIST is going to be stripped of the belt. 

Campeones De Parejas FIST Icarus and Chuck Taylor © with Gran Akuma vs Incoherence Delirious and Hallowicked-  All matches for the CDP's are two out of three falls. Eddie Kingston comes out to distract Hallowicked allowing FIST to get the jump. Icarus and Hallowicked in the ring. Chops by Icarus than a dropkick to the back of the had. Taylor uses his shirt to choke Delirious. Hallowicked runs into a big good. Jackknife pin by Icarus for the 1 2 3 to win the first fall. Icraus and Talro think the match is over but are informed this is a title match. Icarus and Delirious start fall two. Knee to the gut by Delirious. Chops are no sold by the masked man. Atomic drop by Delirious than a leaping forearm than second one.  Back to back senton by Delirious. See Chuck Taylor is still trying to put his gear on. Tag to Hallowicked. Incoherence dump Icarus onto the ropes and Hallowicked with a summersault kick to his head. Lucha tag bring in Taylor big chops by Hallowicked. Shoulder tackle by Taylor but he gets tripped. Arm drag by Hallowicked than more chops. Icarus with a knee in the back. Palm strike by Taylor. Double team by FIST. Icarus in and he ties up Hallowicked than an arm bar. Hallowicked get the ropes. Tag to Taylor who attacks the back. Forearms by Taylor. Tag to Icarus who hits a suplex into a press for two. Tag to Taylor who comes in twits a double ax handle. Bryce has to keep Delirious from coming in so this allows Icarus to choke Hallowicked on the ropes. Belly to back Suplex by Taylor than the grenade elbow drop gets two. Tag to Icarus double team hip toss. Front face lock by Icarus. Chin lock by Icraus but Hallowicked gets free. Step up Rana blocked and Hallowicked takes a mafia kick. Icarus chokes Hallowicked in the corer. Delirious comes over and drops Icarus onto the ropes. Tag to Delirious and Taylor. Leaping Lariat on Icarus. Taylor runs into a knee. School boy on Taylor gets two. Backslide gets two. Bizarro driver by Delirious to win the second fall. It appears Taylor suffered some kind of injury so Icarus starts by going after both challenges  and gets a series of forearm. Leg drop sidewalk slam combo by Incoherence but Taylor makes the save. Taylor sends Delirious to the floor. Step up rana by Hallowicked. Soul food by Taylor than rana by Icarus gets two. Delirious back in  and head butts Taylor than a panic attack on Icarus. Delirious goes for the cobra stretch but Taylor gets free. Awful waffle by Taylor is counted but he hits a stunner. Choke slam by Hallowicked. Icarus with the pedigree but Hallowicked pop up. Second pedigree but Delirious makes the save. Spear by Icarus. Taylor with a power bomb gets two. Sliced bread by Icarus. Akuma hands Icarus the loaded fanny pack. Icarus puts it on. Delirious cuts him off. Hallowicked takes the pack. Go to sleepy hollow off the top followed by Shadows over the hell for two. Taylor takes out Hallowicked. Awful Waffle only gets two. Rhidine bomb on Taylor by Hallowicked. Down to Icarus and Hallowicked. Sliced bread is blocked. Taylor distracts the referee. Icraus holds Hallowicked so Akuma can hit him with the crutch. Hallowicked ducks. Roll up only gets two. Big boot by Hallowicked for the win a second later. Ok this match was handicapped from the start. I can forgive some of the rough spots given the change with Akuma being out. But it felt like they just went "lets toss everything at the fans and hope it sticks." But I am happy to see Incoherence win they were a great team and it was time for face champion.

Incoherence and a bunch of kids jump around in the ring celebrating the title change. It a nice little moment taking advantage of the small venue they were in this night. We close with a backstage promo by Incoherence celebrating there win. Now Delirious does slip just enough english in that you understand the point. Here it was So few win Doesn't matter rudos techinco we will be the best in CHIKARA history. To the companies credit a few months down the line they booked a match with Akuma and Icarus getting title shot without the points based on the controversy around the title change. 

Bruised is a pretty fun event. There is not any go out of your way to see matches but the key when you watch CHIKARA is to just have fun and as always they deliver on that. So this show is recommend especially if your a fan of Hallowicked or Delirious. Also support CHIKARA up coming IPPV since we need companies like this out there.