Tuesday, April 22, 2014

4/22 WWE Raw Report

We begin this week’s show with a look at the Almost Everyone in the Locker Room versus The Shield match that was a pretext for the return of Evolution.
We are in Baltimore, Maryland and your announcers are John ‘Old Bay’ Layfield, Michael ‘Wild Bill Hagy’ Cole, and Jerry ‘Did you see my son on last night’s Total Divas’ Lawler.
The WWE World Champion makes his return to Raw and he makes his way to the ring and he is with his wife Brie and they hug in the ring.
Stephanie McMahon makes her way to the ring before Bryan can say anything.
Stephanie says that she couldn’t resist the moment to congratulate Daniel and Brie. She would be chanting yes too. From the bottom of her heart, she is sincere. He wins the WWE World Championship and then marries the love of his life in the same week. It was an organic, crunchy, rustic wedding if you are into that.
Since the WWE is a family, they wanted to get Daniel and Brie a wedding present. It is not a traditional present because they are not a traditional company. Daniel will defend the WWE World Title against the Devil’s Favorite Demon at Extreme Rules.
Since Kane said that he wanted to eviscerate Daniel last week, she would make sure that Daniel got his pretty little wife out of the way.
Kane’s pyro goes off and they look at the stage.
Stephanie tells Kane ‘not now’. This isn’t the right time or place. Daniel has Brie leave the ring and they by the announce table. Kane is in the Roberts’ cubicle and he grabs Bryan by the throat. Bryan punches Kane but Kane punches back Bryan attacks Kane from behind when he goes after Brie. Bryan sends Kane into the steps with a drop toe hold. Kane catches Bryan off the apron and Kane sends Bryan into the ringside barrier.
Stephanie says that is enough but Kane does not listen. Kane gives Bryan a tombstone piledriver on the floor.
Stephanie keeps telling Kane that is enough. Kane throws the ring steps aside because he does not know the meaning of ‘enough’. Kane drags Bryan to the ring steps. Kane sets for a second tombstone on the steps and he gives Bryan another one.
Stephanie calls for the EMTs. The medical staff and referees check on Bryan while Kane goes to the back. They put a collar on Bryan. Kane pushes Bryan off the stretcher and Kane throws the stretcher aside. Kane rearranges the announce table and he throws the monitors aside while Stephanie continues to tell Kane to stop.
Kane picks up Bryan on the table and he hits a third tombstone piledriver, this time on the announce table.
Stephanie calls Kane a bastard and he leaves the ringside area and goes to the back. We go to commercial.
We are back and Daniel Bryan is being placed on the stretcher again and Brie is by his side.
Stephanie is in the ring and she wants a very warm round of applause for Daniel as he is being wheeled out of the arena.
The announcers are not sure of what to say about what just happened.
Wade Barrett says that he has some bad news, but it is not as bad as the news for Daniel Bryan. Shamrocks and Lucky Charms will not work tonight. The luck of the Irish is running out. This is not St. Patrick’s Day. It is the day that Sheamus is defeated by Bad News Barrett.
Match Number One: Wade Barrett versus Sheamus in an Intercontinental Title Number One Contender Tournament SemiFinal Match
Barrett with a kick and forearm followed by punches. Barrett with a kick and the referee warns Barrett. Sheamus with punches and he sends Barrett into the turnbuckles. Sheamus with punches and then he runs Barrett’s eyes across the top rope. Sheamus with an Irish whip and he gets Barrett on his shoulder for a Finlay Slam.
Sheamus goes up top but Barrett punches Sheamus and he sets for a superplex but Sheamus head butts Barrett to the mat. Barrett rolls to the apron. Sheamus with a boot to knock Barrett to the floor and then Sheamus with a cross body onto Barrett on the floor.
Sheamus rolls Barrett back into the ring and Sheamus tries for the forearms across the chest but Barrett escapes the hold and Barrett sends Sheamus into the ring post and then he kicks Sheamus off the apron.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Barrett with a reverse chin lock. Sheamus with punches but Barrett with a kick. Sheamus with a tilt-a-whirl power slam and both men are down. Sheamus with two running double sledges followed by a shoulder in the corner and a knee lift. Sheamus with a running knee into the corner and Sheamus goes to the apron and then Sheamus connects with the ten forearms across the chest.
Sheamus goes up top and hits a shoulder tackle for a near fall. Barrett with an elbow to Sheamus but Sheamus with the uranage back breaker for a near fall. Big E watches from the back on a monitor. Sheamus goes for White Noise but Barrett sends Sheamus into the turnbuckles. Barrett sets for Wasteland but Sheamus escapes. Barrett avoids a Brogue Kick and Barrett hits the Blackpool Slam for a near fall.
Barrett sets for the Bullhammer while Sheamus struggles to get back to his feet. Barrett misses the Bullhammer but he does not miss a boot in the corner. Sheamus hits White Noise for a near fall. Barrett and Sheamus exchange punches from their knees. They get to their feet and Sheamus with the advantage and then he hits a cross body and both men go over the top rope to the floor.
Barrett kicks Sheamus away and then he hits the Bullhammer from the floor as Sheamus sets for a suicide dive and Barrett gets the three count.
Winner: Wade Barrett (Advances to the Finals to face the winner of Rob Van Dam versus Cesaro)
We go to commercial.
We are back and Bo Dallas tells us we cannot spell Challenge without ‘Change’. He tells us to BOlieve.
Michael Cole shows us Hugh Jackman’s appearance on Raw in September 2011 when he punched Dolph Ziggler. Hugh will be on next week’s Raw. We see the Twitter conversation between Jackman and Ziggler and the insertion into the discussion by Damien Sandow.
Michael Cole tells you to go to the App to choose John Cena’s opponent for tonight. Will it be Luke Harper, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, or the whole Wyatt Family.
Speaking of the Wyatts, they appear on the stage. Bray says that he remembers the first time he was struck with truth. The taste was better and it was SO intense. He liked it. It was something real. Free will has become man’s biggest illusion. They promise it to you just in time to take it away from you again.
What have we become? A nation full of mindless sheep? Tonight would be what a wonderful night for change. What a wonderful night for change . . . indeed. Tonight, they have left the power in your hands. Those fools. Tonight free will does exist. Tonight you make the choice. What fate will you choose for your knight in shining armor? Will you choose the path of less pain for your hero or is tonight the night that John Cena finally learns the truth. The truth is that we stand against you. Whether it be this brother or that brother. Whether it be inside a steel cage or inside your mind, we stand against you. At Extreme Rules, inside the steel cage, two monsters will enter. It will not matter which monster has the longest claws or the sharpest teeth. One thing will remain the same, they do not love you any more.
Bray asks if you can feel it. Every time they cross paths, he takes more from him. They are all coming with him. Listen John. Listen as it happens John. Won’t they sing with me.
Bray gets on his knees and he smiles as we go to commercial.
We are back and we see the footage from the last week to justify the next match
Match Number Two: Fernando, Diego, and El Torito versus Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, and Hornswoggle (with Heath Slater)
Drew and Diego start things off but Hornswoggle wants to start things off. Drew tags him in and Torito enters as well. They get face to face and Hornswoggle slaps Torito. Torito slaps back. They go back and forth until Hornswoggle pushes him away. Torito with a head scissors. Torito with a springboard head butt to Hornswoggle and he hits the Bronco Buster. Torito goes up top and hits a moonsault for a near fall when Jinder pulls Torito off Hornswoggle. Diego takes care of Mahal.
Drew tags in and he knocks Fernando off the apron. Torito goes under a boot and he gores Slater on the apron. Torito with a head butt and kick to Drew. Fernando and Diego get Drew up and Torito hits a seated splash for the three count.
Winners: El Torito, Fernando, and Diego
We take a look at the return to the ring for Evolution after The Shield had to face 11 men.
A limo arrives at the Arena and Evolution emerges.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Evolution makes their way to the ring
Hunter says that he laughs every time he thinks about it. Imagine what it feels like. You tell the whole world that you are the baddest guys on the planet week in and week out. Then one day, your daddy comes out and spanks you in front of the world. That is humiliating and humbling. That is just the beginning.
Orton says that it takes just a single spark to set the world on fire. It was one careless act by the Shield that set the gears of their destruction. The reformation of the most dominant and most feared group . . . Evolution.
We have a video package for Evolution.
Batista asks if you are starting to get it now. Thirty-one world titles in the ring between the three of them. The Shield has absolutely no idea what they have gotten themselves into. He tells them to deal with that.
The Shield’s music plays and they make their way through the crowd and to ringside.
Evolution shows how powerful they are by leaving the ring while The Shield enter the ring.
Dean says last week wasn’t the first time they were beaten up and won’t be the last. He tells them well done. Dean has a question for Hunter. Do they look humbled to him?
DO WE LOOK HUMBLE TO YOU? There was a reason why they were hired to protect him and the creampuff next to him. The Shield are the meanest, nastiest, and dirtiest animals. They are angry.
Seth says that they have every right to be angry because of what happened last week. It was them and 12 other guys. For Batista to say that they have no idea what they have gotten themselves into, they are the ones who started it.
They stand on the stage in their suits, but they don’t want to fight. They talk about how powerful they are and how they were built for dominance. In two weeks, they will come face to face with the Hounds of Justice and it will be war. When they have nowhere to run, will they be looking out for each other? Randy Orton will be looking out for himself. Batista has his Hollywood obligations. Triple H will do what he always does. He will do ‘what’s best for the boss’.
What you are looking at is the most dominant force in the history of this company. In two weeks they will rip them apart and the reunion will come to an abrupt halt. When they made the match, they put a nail in their own coffin. They will be the hammer that drives it home.
Roman says last week, they were given an ultimatum. This week they will give them one. In a few moments, they will drop their mics and come up the ramp to kick their asses. They have two options. They can be men and try to fight him, or you can be creampuffs and cower away and hide.
The Shield go up the ramp but the 11 men who started things for Evolution last week.
Hunter says there is an option three. In life, you either adapt or you perish. That is Evolution.
We take a look back at how Raw started with Kane’s attack on Daniel Bryan.
Michael Cole tells us that Daniel Bryan was taken to a medical facility for observation.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Michael Cole tells us that there is a free week still available and there is a special for Hall of Fame inductions starting Tuesday at 10:00 PM for the next four days.
Curtis Axel and Ryback join the announce table.
We see footage from Total Divas when Jimmy Uso and Naomi got married.
Match Number Three: Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso versus Cody Rhodes and Goldust in a NonTitle Match
Jey and Goldust start off and Jey with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Goldust with a reverse atomic drop and arm drags. Jey with an arm drag of his own. Goldust with a punch but Jey punches back. Goldust with a clothesline and he tags in Cody. Cody with a springboard drop kick for a near fall. Cody with a wrist lock into a hammer lock.
Jey with an elbow and he tags in Jimmy. Jey sends Cody into the air and Jimmy drops Cody on the top rope and he gets a near fall. Jimmy with a head butt and then he applies a sliding head lock. Cody lands on his feet and he connects with a drop down uppercut.
Goldust tags in and Jimmy with an arm drag. Jey tags in and he hits a double sledge from the turnbuckles. Goldust with a wrist lock and he slams the arm into the mat. Goldust with a drop down uppercut of his own. Cody tags in and he gets an O’Connor Roll but Jey tags in. Jey with a super kick to Goldust and then Cody tries for Cross Rhodes on Jimmy and Jey with a super kick to Cody for the three count.
Winners: Jimmy and Jey Uso
After the match, Goldust checks on Cody and Cody pushes Goldust away and goes to the back.
Axel and Ryback leave the announce table and attack the Usos. They send Jimmy into the ring post and then Axel with a running knee to Jey while Ryback holds him. Ryback with the marching muscle buster to Jey.
Michael mentions Slam City and we see Mark Henry’s episode.


We go to commercial.

Match Number Four: Layla El (with Fandango) versus Emma (with Santino Marella)
Santino wants a hug, but it ends up being a handshake between Emma and Santino. Fandango pulls Santino off the apron and Layla attacks Emma and slams her head into the mat. Layla gets a near fall. Layla chokes Emma in the ropes. Layla stretches Emma. Emma gets to her feet and she connects with a knee and forearm. Emma misses a drop kick when Layla holds on to the ropes.
Layla does some dancing instead of wrestling. Emma with a flying clothesline and Santino hits Fandango with the cobra on the floor. Emma pulls out her own version of a Cobra and she hits Layla with it to get the three count.
Winner: Emma
After the match the Cobras have a moment together.
We go to commercial.
We are back with comments about Legends House.
Renee Young is with John Cena in the interview area. She asks John about his match options tonight.
John says that his fate lies in the hands of the WWE Universe. Bray Wyatt has told everyone they have a voice. We will see if they do listen to him. He respects the fact that the WWE Universe can choose to do what they want. If he has to face the entire Wyatt Family, that is what he will do.
John says that he is not going to pretend he doesn’t know what is happening. He has heard the same song and it gets louder and louder. He’s got the whole world in his hands. John says that he is starting to think that he might. If the WWE Universe sends him down a path where he has to face all three members, he will have to deal with it. However, in two weeks, the odds will be even with a steel cage. Tonight, he has to survive. Bray may have the whole world in his hands and he can try to put him down, but he won’t be able to take him out.
Paul Heyman walks to the ring with Cesaro and he introduces himself and he tells us that he is the advocate for the next top talent in the WWE, the Swiss Superman, the King of Swing . . . Cesaro. On a personal note, he also happens to have the pleasure to serve as the advocate for the Beast Incarnate. The Beast who conquered the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania . . . BROCK LESNAR.
Paul says that you shall not . . .
We go to commercial.
We are back and Paul mentions the undefeated streak at Wrestlemania so Paul talked through the commercial break.
Paul tells everyone to get this into your skulls. His CLIENT . . . BROCK LESNAR conquered the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania. His CLIENT . . . BROCK LESNAR conquered the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania. His CLIENT . . . BROCK LESNAR conquered the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania. His CLIENT . . . BROCK LESNAR conquered the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania.
Rob Van Dam’s music interrupts Paul’s statement about the Undertaker’s undefeated streak being conquered by Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania.
Match Number Five: Cesaro (with Paul Heyman) versus Rob Van Dam in anIntercontinental Title Number One Contender Tournament Semi Final Match
They lock up and Van Dam with a waist lock and Cesaro with a side head lock and shoulder tackle for a near fall. Cesaro with a side head lock. Cesaro tries for a suplex but Van Dam lands on his feet and Van Dam with a kick. Cesaro picks up Van Dam and gets him on his shoulder for a tilt-a-whirl back breaker and a near fall.
Cesaro with an elbow drop. Van Dam floats over in the corner and hits a side kick from the turnbuckles. Van Dam with a monkey flip. Van Dam does his thumbs deal but Cesaro sends him to the mat. Cesaro with a suplex for a near fall. Van Dam with a step over spin kick and he connects with shoulders in the corner.
Van Dam goes for a shoulder in the corner but Cesaro moves and he drop kicks Van Dam into the ring post.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Cesaro with a reverse chin lock and Van Dam with elbows. Van Dam with a kick to the head and he tries for a sunset flip but Cesaro stays on his feet and he hits a leaping double stomp for a near fall. Cesaro with a dead lift side salto and he gets a near fall. Cesaro chokes Van Dam.
Cesaro chokes Van Dam in the corner and he face washes Van Dam. Cesaro goes to the turnbuckles and connects with an elbow drop for a near fall. Cesaro with a reverse chin lock. Van Dam with elbows but Cesaro with a knee and he tries to send Van Dam into the turnbuckles and Van Dam blocks it and he kicks Cesaro in the head.
Van Dam with punches to Cesaro followed by a clothesline and a thrust kick. Van Dam with Rolling Thunder and he gets a near fall. Van Dam with a forearm but Cesaro with an Irish whip. Van Dam goes up top and hits a side kick and then Van Dam goes up top for the Five Star Frog Splash but Cesaro recovers and hits a running European uppercut.
Cesaro with a head butt to Van Dam and then he gets on the ropes for the suplex but Van Dam with a kick. Van Dam with a split legged moonsault onto Cesaro’s side for a near fall. Van Dam misses a spin kick in the corner and Cesaro with a running European uppercut in the corner and he gets a near fall.
Cesaro and Van Dam exchange forearms. Cesaro has a kick blocked and Van Dam with a body scissors for a near fall. Cesaro with a Tiger Bomb for a near fall. Cesaro signals for the swing and before he can swing Van Dam, Jack Swagger’s music plays and he is joined by Zeb Colter.
Van Dam with a mule kick to Cesaro and he goes to the floor. Swagger goes to the floor and he tries to distract Cesaro long enough for Van Dam to come off the turnbuckles. Cesaro with a European uppercut to Van Dam as he comes off the turnbuckles.
Heyman and Colter argue on the floor while Cesaro rolls Van Dam back into the ring. Swagger sends Cesaro into the ring post and Cesaro is counted out.
Winner: Rob Van Dam (Advances to face Wade Barrett in the Finals)
After the match, Swagger attacks Cesaro in the ring and connects with knees but Cesaro with a back drop that sends Swagger over the top rope to the floor. Cesaro sees Colter in the ring and he cuts off Colter’s escape plans. Cesaro grabs Colter by the beard and he sets for the Swing but Swagger stops him.
Swagger is taken to the mat and Cesaro with the Giant Swing to Swagger.
We see what happened to Daniel Bryan at the start of Raw.
Michael Cole provides us with an update on Daniel Bryan. Michael says that Daniel has suffered a stinger. He has lost some feeling in his extremities and they are going to keep him overnight for observation.
We are back and Renee Young is with Rob Van Dam. She asks him about advancing to the finals, but Paul Heyman and Cesaro interrupt. Rob points out that the King of Swing lost to RVD.
Cesaro says that everyone knows that Rob Van Dam cannot beat the King of Swing on his own.
Paul says that he is disappointed in Rob because the Rob that he knows would never take a tainted victory. How can Rob sleep at night.
Rob tells Cesaro if he wants to make it in this business, keep your wallet away from Paul.
Match Number Six: Paige versus Aksana in a Non Title Match
Paige with a side kick and she grabs Aksana by the hair and tosses her to the mat. Paige tosses Aksana across the ring one more time. Paige with a sunset flip for a near fall. Paige with knees to Aksana. Aksana puts Paige on the turnbuckles and she kicks Paige. Aksana with a suplex and she kicks Paige in the ribs.
Aksana chokes Paige in the ropes and then she goes to the floor and slaps Paige. Aksana with a rear chin lock followed by elbows. Aksana returns to the rear chin lock. Paige with elbows but Aksana with a back elbow.
Aksana with a side slam and she crawls around like a cat and she tries for the round kick but Paige ducks and she slams Aksana’s head into the mat and gets a near fall. Paige with two short arm clotheslines but Aksana with a knee. Aksana with a spinebuster type move for a near fall. Aksana with an elbow drop and Paige with a guillotine choke followed by a knee to the head and she connects with a short arm clothesline.
Paige applies the Scorpion Cross and Aksana taps out.
Winner: Paige
We are told that Cesaro will face Jack Swagger on Smackdown.
We go to commercial.
We are back with the WWE Rewind: Alexander Rusev versus R Truth on Smackdown.
Lana makes her way to the stage to address the crowd in Russian. She says the fact that you share oxygen with this being is the privilege of a lifetime. She says resistance is futile so drop to your knees in reverence of Alexander Rusev.
Match Number Seven: Alexander Rusev (with Ravishing Russian Lana) versus Sin Cara
Rusev misses a punch and Cara with chops. Rusev misses a kick and Cara with a chop and kick. Rusev catches Cara on a springboard move and Rusev puts Cara against the ropes while kneeing Cara in the ribs. Rusev with a fallaway slam and then he sends Cara into the corner and connects with knees. Rusev with a forearm and then he connects with a forearm across the chest. Rusev tries to pull Cara’s arm out of the socket and he connects with a head butt. Cara with a kick.
Cara goes for a rana but Rusev catches him. Cara counters a power bomb attempt with a sunset flip. Rusev with kicks but Cara with a handspring elbow. Cara with an enzuigiri from the apron and Cara goes up top and hits a missile drop kick. Cara tries for a drop kick but Rusev blocks it. Rusev rolls through and hits an overhead gutwrench suplex.
Rusev lifts up Cara for the uranage and then he applies the Accolade and Cara taps out.
Winner: Alexander Rusev
We go to commercial.
We are back with another BOlieve video. It is about preparation so you do not fail.
Jerry Lawler announces the winner of the poll and it is all three members of the Wyatt Family.
Match Number Eight: John Cena versus Luke Harper, Erick Rowan, and Bray Wyatt
Before the match starts, Bray asks John if he can feel it.
All three go after Cena before the bell rings and Harper and Rowan attack Cena while Wyatt surveys the damage.
The referee checks on Cena and the match starts. Harper with European uppercuts to Cena followed by a punch. Harper with an elbow to the back of the head. Harper chokes Cena and Rowan tags in. Rowan with a slam to Cena. Rowan kicks Cena and applies a side head lock and he runs Cena into the corner. Cena with punches but Rowan catches Cena on a cross body and Rowan with a fallaway slam.
Wyatt tags in and he dances Cena around the ring and then he connects with an uppercut. Wyatt kneels over Cena and he tags in Harper. Harper with a double thrust to the chest in the corner. Cena with an Irish whip and splash into the corner but Harper with a back elbow. Harper with a European uppercut.
Cena blocks a second one and he hits a German suplex. Rowan tags in and he kicks Cena. Rowan with a pump handle back breaker for a near fall. Wyatt teases a running boot to a seated Cena but he stops short and tags in Harper. Cena with elbows to Harper and he gets Harper in the STF. Rowan breaks up the hold and the referee warns Rowan.
Harper with an uppercut followed by an elbow to the back of the head. Harper sends Cena to the floor. Cena stops Rowan for a moment but Harper sends Cena into the ring steps and we go to commercial.
We are back and Cena goes for a flying shoulder tackle but Harper drops down and Cena misses and goes to the floor. Harper pulls Cena onto the turnbuckles and they exchange punches. Cena knocks Harper off the turnbuckles and Cena with a tornado DDT. Wyatt tags in and Wyatt with a uranage. Wyatt gets a near fall.
Wyatt punches Cena and then starts to connect with a series of forearms. Wyatt kicks imaginary dirt on Cena and then he goes to the floor. Wyatt with forearms to Cena with Cena’s head against the ring post. Wyatt with a running forearm to Cena’s head against the ring post.
Wyatt starts to sing and then he tags in Rowan who connects with a forearm. Rowan with the double atomic noogie to Cena. Cena powers out of the hold and Cena with a kick to the leg and punches. Rowan with an Irish whip but Rowan misses a charge into the corner and he hits the ring post when Cena move.
Wyatt tags in and he hits a splash into the corner. Wyatt looks around and then he bends over to look at Cena. Wyatt does the crab walk but Cena with a clothesline when Wyatt stands up. Cena knocks Rowan and Harper off the apron. Cena with the two flying shoulder tackles and then he hits the Blue Thunder Bomb. Cena sends Harper to the floor and then he hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Wyatt followed by the Attitude Adjustment on Wyatt but Harper and Rowan break up the cover and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner: John Cena (by disqualification)
After the match, Harper and Rowan attack Cena and Rowan with a splash and then he sends Cena into a boot from Harper. Wyatt tells Harper and Rowan to pick up Cena. Wyatt kisses Cena on the forehead and hits Sister Abigail.
Wyatt gets on the mic and he says in time all things come to life. Wyatt sings to Cena while he has his head on his leg.
We go to credits.

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