Tuesday, April 1, 2014

3/31 WWE Raw Results

A bell tolls. The lights dim and smoke begins to fill the arena. The Undertaker emerges and begins his deliberate walk towards the ring. A video recaps The Undertaker’s encounter with Brock Lesnar last week. The Undertaker enters the ring and the lights stay low. He says that this Sunday is the showcase of the immortals. Lesnar is trying to figure out how to defeat the streak but it cannot be done. Many have tried, but none have succeeded. Lesnar may be dangerous but he is no match for the Deadman. There are three things that cannot be beat: death, taxes and the streak. This Sunday at Wrestlemania, Brock Lesnar will REST… IN… PEACE…
Eat, Sleep, Break the Streak. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman emerge on the entrance ramp. Heyman says that his client has taken the position that this is not a match that Lesnar has to win, it is a match that The Undertaker cannot lose. Taker can torment Lesnar until hell freezes over, but all it takes is one F-5 to end the streak. Lesnar will defeat Undertaker. That is not a prediction, it is a spoiler.
Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar look to leave. Instead, Lesnar pauses and then heads to the ring. Heyman follows. The Undertaker takes off his coat and hat. The crowd begins to chant for The Undertaker. Lesnar stops at ringside. He stares at Taker and then points towards the Wrestlemania XXX sign. Lesnar heads to the side of the ring. Heyman circles across from his client. Together, they reach the commentators booth. Lesnar continues to walk around the ring. Heyman starts to enter the ring with a steel chair. Taker pushes him back. Lesnar runs into the ring and clotheslines The Undertaker. Brock lifts The Undertaker up into the air and hits an F-5.
Will Brock Lesnar end The Streak? Find out this Sunday at Wrestlemania XXX!
****Commercial****
Big E v. Alberto Del Rio
They run the ropes at the starts and Big E hits a clothesline. Cover, but Del Rio kicks out. Big E sends him into the corner and hits a splash followed by a shoulder thrust. Big E lifts Alberto high overhead and then drops him to free fall down to the mat. Cover, but Del Rio kicks out. Del Rio heads to the corner. Big E charges but lands shoulder first against the steel post. Alberto climbs out of the ring. He places Big E’s hands on the steel steps and then stomps on him.
****Commercial****
Big E catches a leaping Alberto Del Rio and hits a backbreaker. Big E runs the ropes and looks for a splash. Del Rio gets his knees up into the air to block. Del Rio attempts a kick but Big E dodges and then vaults Del Rio into the air. Cover, but Alberto kicks out. Big E looks for the finish. Alberto Del Rio hits a Backstabber. Cover, but Big E kicks out.
Big connects with a back body drop. He immediately follows with a Big Splash. Cover, but Alberto kicks out. Del Rio senses an opportunity and locks on the Cross Arm Breaker. Big E still has strength and attempts to get to his feet. Del Rio is able to wriggle him back down to the mat. Big E summons all of his energy and lifts Alberto Del Rio up and slams him to the mat. Cover, but Del Rio just manages to grab the bottom rope. Big E tries to set Alberto up in the corner. Del Rio pushes him down and then stomps across his chest. Del Rio charges across the ring and kicks Big E square in the jaw for the Si Kick.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Vote now on the WWE App to pick which member of the The Shield will face Kane tonight.
****Commercial****
The Wyatt Family appears on the Titantron. Bray says that the world demands change. It’s easy to focus on the gardens and ignore the landfills. Bray begins to talk about a “she” who said that it would be he that would change the world. Bray is the man of whom the prophecy speaks. The end of John Cena is near. Bray begins to sing, “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”.
****Commercial****
Natalya v. Summer Rae
Before the match the audience is treated to a video recap of Summer Rae slapping Natalya on last night’s episode of Total Divas. Vickie Guerrero joins in on commentary to promote her Wrestlemania Divas Championship Invitational. She provides few additional details and notes that all Divas will be in the ring at once for a one fall match.
Summer tosses Natalya into the second turnbuckle. Summer grabs Natalya and starts to choke her from behind. Natalya escapes and hits a running knee. Natalya grabs Summer and hits back to back suplexes. Natalya attempts to whip Summer into the ropes, but instead gets slapped in the face. Natalya proceeds to slap Summer right back. Natalya attempts to lock on the Sharpshooter. Summer flips free and slides under the ropes. Natalya grabs Summer’s hair and tries to bring her back into the ring. Summer kicks Natalya in the skull and cover for the win.
Winner: Summer Rae
****Commercial****
Triple H and Stephanie make their way down to the ring. They talk about how the fans always have a flavor of the month. Last year, it was Fandango. They even chant his theme. Triple H says that the fans lost interest and threw him away. To HHH’s credit, he points out that it is a shame because Fandango is a fantastic talent. Stephanie McMahon goads the fans into chanting, “YES”. She laughs that they will eat up anything. The fans just want to be part of something. She announces that Daniel Bryan will not be on RAW tonight. He has been sent ahead to New Orleans in order to rest up. Triple H claims that the Yes Movement is a myth. In a year it will be gone. Triple H wants to dispel another myth. Many think that his power and success came from marrying well. HHH admits that he married marvelously. However, his success comes from dominance in the ring. The fans loudly begin to chant, “boring”.
A video airs that is basically a compilation of all the people that Triple H has supposedly “buried” over the years. Kurt Angle, Booker T, Jeff Hardy, RVD, Chris Jericho, Goldberg and Mick Foley are featured. Stephanie McMahon narrates the video and it is one for the ages.
Triple H shares that he has decided not only to beat Daniel Bryan and end the Yes Movement, but he will be going on to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
Batista’s music hits. He makes his way to the ring and shares that he appreciates what Triple H is doing. However, there is no way that Triple H is going to be walking out with the Title. That will be Batista’s domain.
Randy Orton’s music hits and he comes down to the ring. He tells Triple H to reconsider placing himself in the main event. Triple H tells Orton that it is time to rediscover The Viper. However, Triple H doesn’t appreciate Orton’s suggestion that he shouldn’t be in the match. So, tonight, Randy Orton will face Batista in a No Disqualification Match.
****Commercial****
Interestingly, a UFC commercial airs during the break. It features Brock Lesnar and promotes all of his matches being available from the UFC. Joe Rogan’s voice caps it off, “this is madness”.
Ryback, Curtis Axel, Jack Swagger & Cesaro v. The Usos & Los Matadores
Ryback starts the match against Uso. Ryback lifts Uso up onto his shoulders but Uso flies free. They brawl back and forth. Usos slaps Ryback across the chest several times. Ryback attempts a shoulder block but is hit with a hip toss. Uso grabs Ryback’s arm and then tags in his brother. Together, they hit a double Super Kick. Cover, but Ryback kicks out.
Curtis Axel gets the tag. Uso kicks him several times and connects with a chop. One of the Los Matadores gets the tag. He whips Curtis into the ropes and then drags him to the mat with an arm bar. The face team continues to exchange tags until neither I, nor the commentators, have any idea of who is who (The Usos are wearing shirts so I was already lost).
Cesaro gets the tag and takes down Uso. Cesaro is kicked in the gut. He responds with an Uppercut and tags his partner. Swagger quickly comes in off the tag. He whips Uso into the turnbuckle, hard. Uso punches Swagger and then hits a DDT. Uso knocks Cesaro and Axel off the apron. Ryback runs into the ring only to be tossed out. One of the Los Matadores flies through the ropes with a suicide dive on Cesaro and Axel. One of the Usos flies out of the ring onto Ryback. Swagger tosses the remaining Uso out of the ring.
****Commercial****
Back from the break and Cesaro hits a dropkick on Uso. Cover, but Uso kicks out. Swagger gets the tag and charges with a forearm. Uso kicks out of the cover. Ryback gets the tag and cinches on a rear headlock.
Uso escapes and Axel gets the tag. Axel is whipped into the ropes but misses a clothesline. Uso hits a Samoan Drop. Axel is sitting in the corner and falls victim to a modified stink face. Cover, but Ryback makes the save. Ryback receives a kick to the jaw. Swagger gets the tag and tries a cover. Los Matador makes the save. The other Matador flies into the ring as well. He springboards from the second rope out and onto Cesaro. Los Matador flies off the top rope. Swagger moves out of the way and grabs his leg for a Patriot Lock. Uso makes the save. Los Matador pull off some Twin Magic. One of the Matadores rolls up Swagger for the win.
Winners: Los Matadores & The Usos
****Commercial****
The Rhodes Brothers v. Damien Sandow & Fandango
Damien starts the match against Cody. Rhodes is whipped into the corner. Cody climbs to the top rope and looks for a moonsault. Damien heads out of the ring to avoid the move. Fandango gets the tag and starts to kick away at Cody. Sandow receives the tag. He works Cody for a moment while Fandango dances on the apron. Fandango gets the tag and tries a cover. Cody kicks out, so Sandow gets the tag. Damien covers drags Cody to the mat with a rear headlock.
Goldust gets the hot tag. Sandow whips him in the ropes and receives a trademark drop punch. Fandango tries to run in but gets punches. Goldust jumps from the top to hit both of them with a crossbody. Goldust covers Sandow, but Fandango makes the save. Cody flies in with a springboard dropkick that knocks Fandango out of the ring. Cody flies out of the ring to keep Fandango down. Goldust hits Final Cut for the win.
Winners: The Rhodes Brothers
****Commercial****
The Shield appears on the Tron. Rollins says that it doesn’t matter who wins the vote to face Kane tonight. Either way it is going to be a bad night for Kane. Ambrose says that The Shield never disrespected Kane, it was the other way around. Now, that includes the New Age Outlaws. At Wrestlemania they are going to teach those kids about respect.
****Commercial****
Bray Wyatt w/ The Wyatt Family v.  R-Truth w/ Xavier Woods
Bray takes over immediately. He pushes Truth back into the corner and delivers punch after kick. Wyatt rubs Truth’s face into the ropes. Truth is whipped into the corner but flips out of the way and hits a spinning heel kick. Cover, but bray kicks out. Truth connects with a splash in the corner. Wyatt responds with a devastating shoulder block. Wyatt chucks Truth out of the ring. Truth immediately comes back in with a punch. Bray responds by clubbing him down to the mat and then pounding the back of his head. Bray swings Truth around for a gutbuster. Wyatt transforms into Crab Mode and then grabs R-Truth. Sister Abigail for the win.
Winner: Bray Wyatt
After the match Xavier Woods is rolled into the ring. Luke Harper kicks his head off and then tosses him back outside.
The Wyatts pose in their normal position as the lights go out in the arena. Another person, wearing a jumpsuit and lamb mask enters the ring. Everyone stares at each other for a moment and Bray looks confused. The man removes his mask – and it’s John Cena! Cena punches Harper, hits an AA on Rowan and lifts Bray up onto his shoulders. Bray scurries off and runs for the ring. Cena is fired up and points to the Wrestlemania sign. The Wyatt Family regroups on the entrance ramp.
****Commercial****
Lumberjill Match
Naomi v. AJ
AJ is sent out of the ring and receives a few punches before being sent outside. Naomi is also sent out of the ring, however no one attacks her. It appears as though everyone is in union against the Divas Champion. AJ jumps out furious that no one will attack Naomi, but gets sent back into the ring. AJ dodges a kick and then hits Naomi with a kick of her own. Naomi is sent into the corner. AJ jumps onto Naomi for a front headlock. AJ kicks Naomi in the gut and then hits a neckbreaker. Cover, but Naomi kicks out. Naomi gets to her feet and hits a dropkick and then jaw jacks AJ. Cover, but AJ kicks out. AJ is tossed out of the ring. Tamina comes over to protect AJ but all the Divas attack them. AJ is rolled back inside. Naomi covers her for the win.
Winner: Naomi
****Commercial****
John Cena appears in the back with Renee Young. He says that desperate times call for desperate measures. Cena claims that Wyatt is spreading propaganda. Cena says that he is going to be fighting for what he believes in. Cena vows to be a rage fueled monster. He says that the greatest thing about fear is realizing you have the courage to overcome that fear. Cena says that he is going to stuff his foot up Wyatt’s ass.
The hosts of RAW Backstage Pass are shown. Mathews, Booker, Riley & Barrett promote the show.
Jerry Lawler enters the ring to reveal the winner of the WWE App vote to determine Kane’s opponent. Roman Reigns wins with 80% of the vote.
****Commercial****
Roman Reigns v. Korporate Kane
Reigns is chopped back into the corner. Kane stays on the offensive and hits a sidewalk slam. Cover, but Roman kicks out. Reigns starts to swing away on Kane. Reigns plants Kane with his head on the apron. Reigns runs and leaps for his signature apron dropkick. Reigns heads to the corner and sets up for a spear or punch.
The New Age Outlaws start to walk towards the ring. The Shield comes in from behind and attacks the Outlaws. Kane charges at Reigns. Roman dodges and hits a Superman Punch. The rest of the Shield runs into the ring and attacks Kane which causes the disqualification.
Winner via DQ: Kane
****Commercial****
Piper’s Pit
Piper starts by promoting Wrestlemania and the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. The Miz’s music hits and he comes down to the ring. Miz says that Piper’s Pit can’t compare to MizTV. Sheamus’ music hits and Piper is annoyed. Sheamus says that he sees the Andre trophy in his future. Titus is the next to appear. He spells out his name and vows to win the match. Dolph Ziggler is the next to emerge. This quickly devolves into a plethora of stars charging the ring. Most of the men involved in the Battle Royal hit the ring and start to brawl. Piper stands on the apron and has all but given up on having a show. Ultimately the Big Show emerges and joins in the fray. Everyone is tossed from the ring. Show grabs the last man, Rey, and tosses him out of the ring and on top of the rest of the competitors. Roddy raises Show’s arm to end the segment.
****Commercial****
No Disqualification
Batista v. Randy Orton
The men quickly brawl to the outside of the ring. Triple H and Stephanie are present on commentary for this match. Batista grabs a steel chair and busts it over Orton’s back. And again. Orton responds by shoving Batista into the commentator’s booth. He then lifts up Batista and slams him onto the barricade. Orton grabs a steel chair and swings it at Batista. Batista rolls back into the ring and Orton follows. Orton lifts the chair up, but gets kicked in the gut. Batista punches Orton till he falls out of the ring. Orton crawls against the announce table. Batista slams Orton’s face into the table. Batista responds by grabbing Orton and slamming him back first into the apron.
Batista grabs a steel chair and approaches Orton. Randy has found a kendo stick and uses it against Batista. Batista is in pain until he is able to whip Orton into the steel steps. Both men get back in the ring. Orton runs right into a Spinebuster. Batista is fired up and signals for a Bomb. He places Orton’s head between his thighs, but Orton scurries free and hits a neckbreaker. Batista crawls out onto the apron. Orton grabs him and connects with a suspended DDT.
Daniel Bryan flies over the barricade and lands on Triple H. Bryan slugs away at Triple H. Orton grabs Bryan and whips him into the steel steps. Orton then rolls Bryan into the ring. Stephanie attends to Triple H on the outside.
Batista runs at Orton and connects with a spear. He next turns his attention to Bryan. Daniel responds with a Knee Plus. Bryan is fired up and the crowd explodes. Bryan flies out of the ring with a suicide dive onto Triple H. Bryan grabs a kendo stick and unloads on HHH. Triple H rolls into the ring, but when Bryan comes back in he runs away and takes refuge with Stephanie near the ramp. Bryan celebrates with the crowd as RAW goes off the air.

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