Friday, June 28, 2013
June 28th WWE Smackdown Report
We are in Columbia, South Carolina and your announcers are John ‘Caka’ Layfield and Michael ‘Lackey’ Cole.
In order to get in the Dublin state of mind, there are a series of beer taps around the ring because when you think of Dublin, WWE can only think of beer.
Before we start our first match, Damien Sandow has something to say. He says in 1860, South Carolina was the first state to secede from the Union. After one day, he suggests that they do so again. This is like a third world country. Y’all is not a word. It is pronounced ‘you all’ as in You all are a bunch of ignoramuses. He demands silence and then says after he defeats the ignoramus in the ring, this match will be recalled after the man who dominated, the Sandow Street Fight.
Damien tells everyone that they are welcome.
Match Number One: Sheamus versus Damien Sandow in a Sandow/Dublin Street Fight
Sandow with a kick and punches and then Sandow grabs a green kendo stick but Sheamus backs him into the corner. Sandow with a kendo stick shot to the ribs and he clotheslines Sheamus over the top rope to the floor. Sheamus with a clothesline to Sandow on the floor. Sheamus sends Sandow into the ringside barrier and then he sends Sandow into the bar by the announce table.
Sheamus with ten forearms across the chest. Sheamus tries to suplex Sandow on the floor but Damien blocks it and then Sandow with a drop kick and then he sends Sheamus into the ring post. Sandow sends Sheamus into the bar on the opposite side of the ring and it falls over. Sheamus with a punch and he slams Sandow’s head into the side of the bar. Sheamus grabs the keg and he tosses it to Sandow and Sandow is unable to catch it.
Sheamus looks under the ring and he has a sack of potatoes and he hits Sandow in the ribs and then the potatoes fall upon Sandow. Sheamus tries to stomp on Sandow’s head on the steps but Sandow pulls Sheamus off the steps and he punches Sheamus.
Sandow with kicks and he grabs a bar stool and he hits Sheamus with it.
We go to commercial.
We are back and they are in the ring. Sheamus with a punch but Sandow with a back elbow. Sandow stomps on the chest and then he goes to the floor and he looks under the ring and grabs a chair or two and a kendo stick. Sandow grabs the chair that was in the ring before he went under the ring and he wedges the chair in the corner. Sheamus is able to go to the floor and he grabs the bar stool and hits Sandow in the head. Sheamus with a uranage back breaker for a near fall.
Sheamus with the two running double sledges and then he runs Sandow into the turnbuckles and he hits a running knee lift but Sandow escapes the Finlay slam and goes to the floor. Sheamus grabs Sandow and hits the Finlay Slam. Sheamus goes up top and hits a flying shoulder tackle and gets a near fall.
Sandow grabs a chair and he hits Sheamus with it to counter the use of the kendo stick but Sandow can only get a two count. Sandow grabs the chair again and he sets it up with the legs up. Sandow sends Sheamus into the leg of the chair and Sandow hits Terminus but Sheamus kicks out.
Sandow tries to figure out what to use next and he picks up the kendo stick and he hits Sheamus with it in the head shoulders and back. Sandow gets a near fall. Sheamus grabs a chair and he throws it at Sandow and it connects. Sheamus throws the chair away and he picks up the kendo stick. Sheamus with shots to Sandow’s back and legs. Sheamus gets a near fall.
Sheamus grabs a chair and he sets it down in the center of the ring. Sheamus gets a chair from the floor and he brings it into the ring and sets it next to the chair. Sheamus hits Sandow in the back with the kendo stick and Sheamus tries for White Noise onto the chairs but Sandow escapes. Sheamus with a kick and kendo stick shot that forces Sandow into the chairs and then Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick for the three count.
Winner: Sheamus
In case you missed Raw, we see highlights from the Street Fight between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton. Randy will face Kane later tonight.
Kane is in the locker room and Daniel Bryan whistles while he waits for Kane to say something. Kane tells Daniel if he is here to brag about what he did on Monday, he does not want to hear it. He congratulates Daniel on his win and he calls it an upset. Daniel says that it was an upset he didn’t get it done the first time.
Kane tells Daniel that he is stressing him out and he tells Daniel to leave. Daniel says that he will let it go. Daniel says that if Kane needs his help tonight, he will be on commentary and then Daniel hugs Kane but Kane does not hug back.
We go to commercial.
We are back with the Raw Rebound.
It is time for MizTV with special guest Paul Heyman and they are already in the ring. Miz calls Heyman one of the, if not the most controversial people in Sports Entertainment. Miz says that he has known Paul for years and he has an answer for everything. Paul said that he wanted Punk and Brock to be a tag team.
Paul says that he is not here to talk about his personal life so he asks for the next question.
Miz asks Paul if Renee Young wanted to talk about her personal life last week. Miz asks Paul if he wants to try to bully him like he bullied her.
Paul tells Miz that he is an advocate while Miz is a former WWE Champion. How can he, as an advocate, bully an athlete, but he has someone in mind who can bully Miz. Paul brings out Curtis Axel.
Paul introduces Curtis to the Miz.
Miz says that he was fooled into thinking that this would be a one-on-one interview. It is just like when Paul said that he had nothing to do with Brock’s attack on Punk. He says that Curtis is uninvited.
Paul says that Curtis is his guest on the show and he wonders if Miz is too intimidated to ask any questions.
Miz calls Paul the walking version of Star Wars. He sounds like Yoda, he smells like Chewbacca, and looks like Jabba the Hutt. Miz says that means that Curtis is the WWE version of Luke Skywalker. Miz tells Curtis ‘You’re not your father’.
Paul asks where the question is.
Miz asks Curtis what happens when he falls out of the Paul Heyman picture, especially when he loses the Intercontinental Championship to him.
Curtis asks Miz if he thinks he can take this title from him. He says that he is very possessive of the Intercontinental Championship and he takes Miz’ threats very personally.
Miz says that they should get really personal. He asks Curtis to defend his title against Miz right now.
Paul gets in the middle and he says that his clients don’t fight for free and the Intercontinental Champion does not defend the title on an impromptu basis. If Miz wants to get personal, Curtis got to the top by not taking short cuts. He did not come to WWE from a reality show and he did not use schmucky catchphrases like the Miz.
Miz says that Curtis is going to lose the Intercontinental Title because he is . . .
Attacked by Curtis and Axel with a neck breaker driver. Axel leaves the ring along with Heyman.
We go to commercial with AJ Lee skipping in the back with Big E Langston following behind.
We are back and we see AJ mocking Kaitlyn during Kaitlyn’s match against Aksana.
Match Number Two: AJ Lee (with Big E Langston) versus Natalya in a Non Title Match
Before the match starts, AJ’s music plays and Kaitlyn comes out dressed like AJ and she skips onto the stage. She mentions Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Kane, John Cena, and Dolph Ziggler. She says that it has been brought to her attention that she dated Mark Yeaton, the timekeeper. She says that there are rumors that AJ has had some thorough examinations with Doctor Sampson. That isn’t the juiciest part. She says that she heard that she was involved with South Carolina’s own Lillian Garcia.
Natalya with a side head lock take down but AJ with a head scissors. Natalya escapes and she kicks AJ followed by a suplex. Natalya goes for a power slam but AJ escapes and she pulls Natalya to the mat by her hair.
Kaitlyn skips to and around the ring and that gets AJ to lose focus on the match and Natalya with a rollup for the three count.
Winner: Natalya
After the match, AJ argues with the referee and then she turns around and Kaitlyn with a spear to AJ. Langston pulls AJ out of the ring and carries her to the back.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for another Wyatt Family video.
Money in the Bank is in two weeks and there will be two ladder matches. We know who is in the WWE Title ladder match, but is it time to find out who is in the World Title one?
Teddy Long is in Booker’s office and he is on the phone. He tells the person on the phone that he has a major announcement to make.
Vince McMahon enters the office and he says that we know who is in the WWE title ladder match and how it is being called the “All Stars”. Vince wants to know what Teddy has for the other ladder match.
Teddy says that he could have did what Vickie did and that was to select the top WWE Superstars in one fell swoop. He wants to do something different. Teddy says that he is thinking about the future. He wants to think outside the box, something Booker T has never done. The participants are Wade Barrett, Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro, Fandango, Dean Ambrose, Cody Rhodes, and Damien Sandow.
Vince says that he is feeling that and he agrees that Booker and Vickie never would have thought about it. Vince and Teddy go back and forth pronouncing Fandango’s name.
Daniel Bryan makes his way to ringside to join Michael and John for the next match.
Match Number Three: Kane versus Randy Orton
They lock up and Kane with a waist lock into a side head lock. Orton with a side head lock and Kane with a shoulder tackle. Kane pushes Orton and Orton punches Kane. Orton with a clothesline into the corner and then he charges into the corner and hits another clothesline. Kane with an uppercut and Orton goes down.
Kane with an uppercut followed by a snap mare and drop kick for a near fall. Kane with an Irish whip and clothesline into the corner. Kane with another Irish whip and he charges into the corner but Orton with a drop kick to the knee and Kane goes into the turnbuckles. Kane with an Irish whip and then he connects with a power slam for a near fall.
Kane goes up top and Orton punches him in the midsection as he comes off the turnbuckles. Orton with the Garvin Stomp followed by a leaping knee drop to the chest and he gets a near fall. Kane with a DDT and both men are down. We go to commercial.
We are back and Kane with a knee to the midsection and Orton is down. Kane gets a near fall. Kane with a nerve hold on Orton and Bryan gets on the announce table to start a Yes Chant. Orton with punches but Kane with an uppercut. Orton with a back breaker and both men are down. Bryan starts a No Chant.
Kane tries for a slam but Orton escapes and he hits a Thesz Press and he punches Kane. Kane with a boot to the head and he gets a near fall. Orton with a clothesline followed by a drop kick and he gets a near fall. Kane with an Irish whip but he runs into an elbow. Kane with a side slam and he gets a near fall. Kane goes up top for the clothesline but Orton punches Kane and it crotches him. Orton with a European uppercut and he goes for a superplex.
Kane punches Orton and knocks him to the mat with a head butt. Kane with the clothesline from the top and he connects. Kane signals for the choke slam but Orton with an elbow and he ducks a clothesline and Orton with a power slam for a near fall. Orton tries for the IEDDT but Kane gets back into the ring and he grabs Orton by the throat but Orton avoids the choke slam. Kane runs into boots from Orton and Orton with forearms.
Kane with an uppercut that knocks Orton off the turnbuckles and to the floor. Kane sends Orton back into the ring and then Orton with a kick to the head and he hits the IEDDT on Kane but Kane rolls to the floor.
Bryan gets up to help Kane and he sends Kane back into the ring. Orton with an RKO for the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton
We go to commercial with Ryback walking in the back.
Match Number Four: Ryback versus Justin Gabriel
Gabriel misses a kick and Ryback pushes Gabriel against the ropes. Gabriel with kicks but Ryback with a kick to the midsection. Ryback with a forearm to the kidneys and then he tries for a power slam but Gabriel escapes and he kicks Ryback in the legs. Ryback tries for a boot to the head but he is too close to the ropes and Ryback gets his leg caught in the ropes and Gabriel kicks the left leg until the referee pulls him away.
Gabriel with another kick but Ryback sends Gabriel over the top rope and Gabriel lands on the apron. Gabriel with a shoulder and he tries for a sunset flip but Ryback does not go over. Gabriel with kicks to the leg and then he hits a drop kick to the head. Gabriel tries for a cross body into the corner but Ryback catches Gabriel and hits the marching muscle buster for the three count.
Winner: Ryback
After the match, Chris Jericho’s music plays and he wants to make sure that Ryback’s leg is okay. He shows false sympathy. Ever since the match was announced, all he has heard is how bad of a man Ryback is. He knows that Ryback is a whiner, bitcher, a moaner, and an excuse maker. With the amount of sobbing that he is doing, he should change his name to Cryback.
Jericho gets the crowd to chant ‘Cryback’. If he wants to cry, maybe Jericho will give him something to cry about.
They go into the ring and they exchange punches but Jericho with kicks to the leg and he tries for the Walls of Jericho but Ryback gets out of the ring.
We have a brand new Wyatt Family video and then we go to commercial.
We are back and we see how this match was set up on Main Event.
Match Number Five: Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns versus Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, and Christian
Roman and Jey start things off and it feels like a family reunion. They lock up and they go around the ring and to the floor. We have a six man stand off at ringside and we go to commercial.
We are back and Ambrose kicks Jey and then he punches him before tagging in Reigns. Roman kicks Jey and the referee warns him. Reigns with a slam for a near fall. Reigns with a front face lock and Jey tries to get to his corner but Reigns keeps him from making the tag. Reigns knocks Jimmy off the apron. Jey hot shots Reigns onto the turnbuckles.
Christian and Ambrose tag in and they exchange punches. Christian with a running forearm and then he goes to the turnbuckles for a back elbow. Ambrose avoids the Killswitch but he cannot avoid an inverted DDT. Christian waits for the spear but Rollins trips him. Christian with a drop toe hold that sends Ambrose into the ropes.
Christian with a slingshot to the floor and he prepares to punch Ambrose, but Rollins tries to attack him but Christian with a back body drop to Rollins on the floor. Ambrose avoids the punch but Christian with a shoulder and then he goes up top and hits a cross body but Ambrose rolls through and gets a near fall. Ambrose with a clothesline and then he taunts Christian.
Ambrose punches Christian and he sends Christian into the turnbuckles and he punches Christian again and runs his forearm across the nose. Christian with a tornado DDT but Reigns breaks up the cover. Reigns sends Christian to the floor. Jimmy with a savate kick to Reigns and then he hits a cross body and both men go over the top rope to the floor.
Jey with a forearm off the apron but Rollins with a flip dive onto the Usos. Ambrose looks at the carnage on the floor and he turns around and Christian with a spear for the three count.
Winners: Christian, Jimmy Uso, and Jey Uso
After the match, Rollins has a tantrum in the ring and Ambrose cannot believe what just happened.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for the Fiesta Del Rio and the piñata has been lowered.
Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio after the mariachi band finishes. Since the crowd reaction was not good for the Albertoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, Ricardo speaks with a Southern accent before doing the proper introduction.
Alberto welcomes everyone and he says that we celebrate his victory over Dolph Ziggler at Payback and him regaining his World Title. We also celebrate that he is a four time World Champion. He says that not enough understand who Alberto Del Rio is, he wanted the closed captioning turned on so people can understand him because they are doing it his way.
Tonight, he is only going to speak Spanish.
The crowd chants USA.
Alberto says that he knew this was going to happen. It is good because this is not for the people, it is for himself. He is the champion. Alberto insults the fans as the USA chants get louder. He says that this is why Americans are ignorant.
Alberto says that it is enough pointing fingers because this is supposed to be fun. Alberto wants to start with the games and it is time to use the piñata. Alberto takes a swing at the piñata with Ziggler’s face on it and he breaks it.
Alberto says that he wants everyone to understand why he just did that. He busted the piñata like he bashed in Dolph Ziggler’s brains at Payback. He will do the same at Money in the Bank just to remain the World Champion.
Alberto says that Ziggler promised to ruin his party, but where is Dolph? If Ziggler has the cajones, why doesn’t he come out to face him. He wants to know what Ziggler is waiting for.
Ziggler’s music plays and the band leaves.
Ziggler stands on the stage and Del Rio draws a line in the ring for Ziggler to cross. Ziggler removes his watch and jacket and he makes his way to the ring at his own pace.
Ziggler takes Del Rio down and then Ricardo goes after Ziggler but Ziggler sends Ricardo over the top rope to the floor. Ziggler sees Ricardo on the turnbuckles and he press slams Ricardo through the table. Ziggler with a Zig Zag to Del Rio. Del Rio leaves the ring and then Ziggler sees Ricardo in the ring and Ziggler goes El Cabong to Ricardo.
Ziggler plays with the band and balloons fall from the rafters as we go to credits.
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