Tuesday, March 18, 2014

3/17 WWE Raw Results

A highlight video from last week’s hijacking is shown. Daniel Bryan and his crew surrounded and occupied the ring in a successful attempt to force Triple H to not only face Bryan at Wrestlemania – but add the stipulation that if Bryan wins his match against Triple H he will be added to the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match on the same evening. 

Triple H is in the ring, and to say he isn’t pleased would be an understandable. Triple H claims that everything that happened is the fault of the fans. It is time for Triple H to end the Yes Movement and bring about the end of Daniel Bryan. Given a week to think about things, Triple H says that he will handily defeat Daniel Bryan and end all of this nonsense. Triple H says that he will talk to Bryan face to face later tonight. 

Batista’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Batista says that Triple H has bigger problems with him than Daniel Bryan. Batista did not sign up to have a little goat added to his match. He came back to become the champion not to be in a match where he doesn’t even need to be pinned to lose. Triple H responds that Daniel Bryan doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning their first match let alone going on to fight in the main event. 

Randy Orton wants in on the Evolution reunion and makes his way to the ring, both belts slung over the same shoulder. Orton says that he agrees with Batista and asks why Triple H would ever add such a stipulation. Triple H again swerves the question by saying that there is no way Bryan will beat him and advance to the main event. Triple H asks if Bryan has really gotten into their heads. Orton requests a no disqualification match against Bryan tonight. He wants to prove that he can take care of the little man once and for all. 

Orton turns to Batista and says that no one cared when he left and they cared even less when he returned. The only reason Bryan has been able to get in their match is because Batista did not live up to his own hype. If he did then none of this would be occurring. Batista responds that Orton sucks and is only a paper champion. Batista says that Orton knows he is going to lose his Titles. Both men begin to shove and bicker. Triple H leaves the ring after trying to break them up. Batista asks where Triple H is going. 

Triple H responds that he is sick of people like Daniel Bryan. He is sick of the fans cheering for him. Triple H also says that he is sick of Hollywood stars coming back and thinking they can tell Triple H what to do. Triple H is standing on the ropes, face red as a skittle. He is also sick of technically skilled guys who are messed up in the head and need him to raise their hands for every victory. Triple H has finally had enough. He says that Vince McMahon was right. The only person that you can trust in this business is yourself. HHH dictates that the Wrestlemania main event will be a Triple Threat. Bryan won’t be in it because he won’t be able to win his match. It will be Triple H going on to face Batista and Orton in the Wrestlemania XXX main event!

Triple H walks away. Randy Orton hits an RKO on Batista for good measure. 

****Commercial****

Batista is shown walking in the back with his backpack over his shoulder. Renee Young tries to interview him, but he responds that ‘coming back was a big mistake’. 

The Usos v. The Real Americans

Jimmy locks up with Swagger and knocks him to the mat. Swagger tries to leap up but Usos catches him and slams him back down. Cover, but Swagger kicks out. Jimmy delivers and heard punch and tags in Jey. Cover, but Swagger kicks out. Uso tries to wrench the arm but Swagger pushes him back and tags in Cesaro. Jey gets in a punch but meets the mat thanks to an uppercut. Jey slides free of an Irish Whip which allows him to tag in his brother. Cesaro catches Jimmy and torments his back with a backbreaker. Swagger gets the tag and works a choke. Jey gets the tag and hits a high kick. He leaps from the top rope with a corkscrew. Cover, but Swagger kicks out. Cesaro jumps up on the apron but gets knocked off. Swagger kicks Uso out of the ring for his efforts. 

****Commercial****

Back from the break and Swagger slams Jimmy. Cesaro gets the tag and hits the Swagger Bomb/Stomp combo with his partner. Cesaro slugs away on Jimmy and then tags in Swagger. Jimmy sends Cesaro to the outside and tries to make it to the corner. Swagger catches Jimmy leg on a kick attempt, but Jimmy spins around and still connects. Both men are flat on the mat. They crawl to the corners and tag in their partners. Jey splashes Cesaro and takes control of the ring. Jey charges across the ring for a stink face homage and looks for the cover. Cesaro kicks out. Cesaro grabs Jey’s legs to look for a swing. Jimmy makes the save. Swagger tries to rush in but Jimmy tosses him out. Jey and Cesaro are the legal men left alone in the ring. Jey climbs to the top rope but Swagger pulls Cesaro out of the ring. Jimmy comes in to help go against Swagger and tosses him out followed by a top rope splash. Jey attempts to fly out on Cesaro but meets an Uppercut. Cesaro hits the Neutralizer for the win. 

Winners: The Real Americans

Promo airs for WWE’s cartoon series Slam City. 

****Commercial****

Kane is backstage with The Shield. Kane says that he made a mistake last week on Smackdown which must be rectified. Kane has a mission from The Authority and needs a unified Shield by his side. If The Shield does not pull their mission off then it means that they are no longer vital to The Authority. Ambrose replies that they are united. Kane retorts that they need to do the right thing when asked or else they will find out how easily they can be replaced. 

Hornswoggle! Happy St. Patrick’s Day – it’s Hornswoggle! The adorable little fella has an incredible lustre and sheen to his hair. Good ole ‘swoggle is passing things out at ringside. 

#BadNewsBarrett

Despite the fact that there is a real live leprechaun at ringside, tonight is St. Patrick’s Day. This means that everyone will go out, drink too much, make bad decisions and regret them for the rest of their lives. 

Sheamus’ music hits and he comes out to a warm reception. Hornswoggle joins Sheamus in the ring before the match to pose for the audience. 

Sheamus w/ Hornswoggle v. Titus O’Neill

Titus is immediately clotheslined out of the ring. Christian has joined in on commentary for this match. Sheamus jumps off the apron to take out Titus. Titus lifts Sheamus up and drives him back first into the steel steps. Titus lifts Sheamus back up for a backbreaker and then tosses him aside. Hornswoggle is worried about his brethren. Titus rolls Sheamus back inside the ring.

Titus stomps away before looking for a tag. Christian is killing it on commentary and calling out the commentators on not treating him well. JBL wishes for a blue dot to put over Christian’s commentary. Titus grabs Hornswoggle and tosses him into the ring. Titus slaps him and then tries to throw him overhead. Sheamus is standing behind Titus and catches Hornswoggle. Sheamus tosses ‘swoggle towards Titus which knocks him onto the apron. 

Sheamus grabs Titus and hits the clobbering blows. Sheamus then slams Titus to the mat and sets up for the Brogue Kick. Sheamus connects with the boot and this match is over. Hornswoggle gets in the ring ot help celebrate. 

Winner: Sheamus 

After the match Renee enters the ring to interview Sheamus. He wishes the WWE Universe a Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Sheamus takes the moment to enter himself in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal at Wrestlemania. Christian is still on commentary and says that Sheamus cannot take that trophy from him. Next thing Sheamus knows he is being laid out by a blindsided attack from Christian. Sheamus is sent out of the ring and tossed into the steel steps. 

****Commercial****

John Cena hits the ring for the start of the 9pm EST hour. Cena starts off by putting over how long he has been in the business and how long he has spent in front of the fans. Cena claims that he has always been honest with the fans and needs to make a confession. Cena is afraid of Bray Wyatt. He is afraid of his message and more importantly is afraid that the audience will fall for his trickery. Bray will stop at nothing to destroy Cena’s legacy. Bray is trying to convince the fans that for 12 years Cena has been living a lie and is a phony. Cena says the hell with that. He has been through too much to let the fear of Bray control him. Wrestlemania is not about fighting Bray Wyatt; it is for all the scars he has endured and all the words that he has shared over the years. At Wrestlemania Cena vows to fight for his legacy. 

A whistling Bray Wyatt appears with his family on the screen. Bray is wearing a Cena shirt. Wyatt shares a bit about his childhood which as he notes is not just rainbows and butterflies. The world has given him scars. Bray says that he could be just like Cena. Sell merchandise and kiss babies. Bray could go back to his plastic girlfriend and mansion. Bray says that he is different than anyone that Cena will ever face. At Wrestlemania Bray doesn’t care if he dies as long as the world sees Cena the way that he does. Follow the buzzards. 

****Commercial****

No Disqualification     
Randy Orton v. Daniel Bryan

Bryan and Orton lock up. Orton is whipped into the ropes and caught with a knee to the gut. Bryan gets out of the ring, grabs Randy’s legs, and slams them against the steel post. Bryan gets back in the ring and gets tripped up. Orton grabs him by the head and chokes him against the bottom rope. Bryan dropkicks Orton off the apron and then follows after with a suicide dive. Orton scurries under the ring to Bryan grabs his legs. Orton has a kendo stick in hand and smacks it over Bryan’s skull. Bryan next meets the announcer’s table via a back body drop. 

****Commercial****

Back from the break and Orton hits Bryan with the kendo stick as he tries to reenter the ring. Orton continues to keep Bryan outside the ring. Orton finally rolls Bryan back inside and goes for a cover. Bryan kicks out. Orton mounts Bryan for a Thesz Press. Randy stomps on Bryan. Orton looks to charges but Bryan rolls out of the way. Orton is in the corner which Bryan uses as a mount for a Frankensteiner. Bryan turns his attention towards the kendo stick that is in the ring. Orton is on his knees pleading. Bryan ignores him and swings away as he alternates kendo hits with swift kicks. Cover, but Orton kicks out. Bryan climbs up to the top turnbuckle but gets his legs kicked out from under him. Orton stares at Bryan and sets up a Superplex. Orton connects. Cover, but Bryan kicks out. 

Orton drops to the mat to pump up for an RKO but Bryan rolls out of the ring and grabs a kendo stick. Orton comes out to Bryan so Bryan slugs him with the stick and tosses him over the barricade. Bryan tries to grab Orton but gets his head slammed into the guard rail. Orton gets a steel chair and slams it over Bryan’s back. Bryan is rolled into the ring and Orton follows to finish the job. 

Batista comes flying out of nowhere and hits Randy Orton with a spear! Bryan kicks Batista in the head and then pins Orton. This match is over. 

Winner: Daniel Bryan

After the match Batista picks up Randy Orton for a Batista Bomb. 

****Commercial****

Paul Heyman is introduced. He claims that the Undertaker has only barely been able to keep his streak alive over the years. He airs a video highlighting The Undertaker’s run at Wrestlemania. The video package emphasizes Taker’s age. Heyman says that the streak will be conquered at Wrestlemania. 

Stephanie is in the back with Triple H and asks if he really is going to go out to the ring and talk to Daniel Bryan tonight. Stephanie says that she doesn’t know is HHH has come down from last week but Bryan disrespected them last week. Stephanie asks what will happen if HHH actually becomes Champion. What would that do their family? It would force him to be on the road again. Triple H vows to take care of it. 

****Commercial****

Fandango w/ Summer Rae v. Goldust w/ Cody Rhodes

The Rhodes Brothers mock the dancing of Fandango during their entrance. Fandango and Goldust lock up at the start but Fandango gets a bit weirded out by Goldie. Goldust connects with an atomic drop and dances a bit. Summer Rae is upset and jumps up on the apron. Goldust puffs at Summer Rae which causes her to jump off the apron. Cody catches her in his arms. Fandango is not pleased. Fandango whips Goldust into the ropes hard and goes for a cover. Goldust kicks out. Fandango puts on a rear headlock. Goldust escapes and pumps Fandango in the gut. Goldust climbs up to the top rope, leaps, and hits a hurricarana! Cover but Fandango kicks out. Goldust hits his finisher for the win. 

Winner: Goldust 

****Commercial****

Kane makes his way to the ring. He immediately calls out Jerry Lawler. He blames Jerry for conspiring with Daniel Bryan last week in Memphis. Kane believes that the reason police did not interfere is because Lawler told them not to. Kane asks Jerry to enter the ring. Lawler stays seated so Kane calls in the Hounds of Justice. 

Sierra, Hotel, India, Echo, Lima, Delta

The Shield surrounds Lawler and forces him into the ring. Kane starts to undress. Kane says that he has known Lawler for quite some time and knows that he is not in shape so he probably won’t enjoy the ensuing attack. He asks Lawler if there is anything that he would like to say for himself. Rollins has a microphone and says that he sees the look in Jerry’s eyes but has a good feeling that Daniel Bryan will not be coming to the rescue. This is because The Shield always does what is best for business. 

As a unit The Shield turns and faces Kane. Lawler scurries out of the ring. Kane is furious and starts to yell at them. He says that they don’t know enough about this business to do what they are about to do. The Shield circles Kane and then unloads. Corporate Kane is under attack from his former minions! Kane tries to land a couple blows but gets caught with a spear from Roman. Next they deliver a devastating Triple Powerbomb. The Director of Operations is motionless in the middle of the ring. 

****Commercial****

Cameron & Naomi v. Tamina & AJ

Cameron starts the match by getting mauled at the hands of Tamina. AJ gets the tag and kicks Cameron in the gut. Cover, but Cameron kicks out. Tamina gets the tag and slams Cameron. Cover, but Cameron again kicks out. AJ gets the tag at the same time as Naomi. Naomi is sporting an eye patch as a result of her orbital bone injury. Naomi plants AJ hard and looks for a cover. AJ kicks out. Tamina tries to interfere but Naomi tosses her out of the ring. AJ is slammed to the mat. Naomi bounces off the top rope for a split-leg moonsault. This match is over as AJ Lee continues to lose on RAW. 

Winners: The Funkadactyls 

After the match AJ is furious with Tamina. AJ gets in her face but gets shoved down to the mat. AJ stays seated and glares at Tamina. Oh the strife. 

****Commercial****

Mr. T is announced as the final inductee for the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2014.

Ryback, Curtis Axel, Alberto Del Rio & Damien Sandow v. Big Show, Mark Henry, Big E & Dolph Ziggler

Ryback starts the match against Big E. Ryback misses a clothesline which allows Big to hit a shoulder block. Ryback is hit with a pair of shoulder thrusts. Ryback tries charging forward but gets caught with a belly to belly suplex. Mark Henry and Curtis Axel get tags. Henry uses his strength to push Axel into the corner and tags in Ziggler. Dolph hits a neckbreaker and goes for the cover. Axel kicks out. Ryback gets the tag and slams Ziggler. 

****Commercial****

Back from the break and Sandow works on Ziggler before tagging in Ryback. Ryback lifts Ziggler up and holds him for a suspended DDT. Ziggler reverses into a rollup. Ryback kicks out and then kicks Ziggler in the face. Dolph kicks out of the cover. Sandow gets the tag and starts to choke out Ziggler. Ziggler gets in a slight offense which opens the door for escape. Big Show gets the tag and charges in at Sandow. Show splashes in the corner and then hits a shoulder tackle. Sandow tries to make the save but gets punched in the face. 

Ryback runs in as does everyone else in the match. Everyone is tossed out of the ring until we are left with the two legal men. This will mimic the Battle Royal all of these men are involved in at Wrestlemania which requires that everyone be tossed over the tope rope to be eliminated. Sandow tries to attack Show from behind but instead gets caught by a chokeslam. 

Winners: Big Show, Mark Henry, Big E & Dolph Ziggler

Renee Young approaches Batista in suspiciously the same exact clothing and location as their previous encounter. She asks if he is not quitting the company since he is still in the building. He replies that he never quits anything. Regardless if it is Daniel Bryan or HHH he will walk out with what he came back for – the Championship. 

****Commercial****

Bray Wyatt w/ Family v. Kofi Kingston

Bray comes out strong at the start as he demolishes Kofi. Kingston finds little room to breathe as Wyatt uses his whole body to drain the air from Kofi’s body. Bray continually lifts Kofi up and slams him to the mat. Wyatt picks Kofi up into the air and then slams him face first into his knee. Kofi is sent into the corner and pummeled. Wyatt charges and hits a splash. Wyatt flies back into the crab position. Bray grabs Kofi, plants a kiss, and hits Sister Abigail for the win. 

Winner: Bray Wyatt

****Commercial****

Triple H makes his way down to the ring and calls out Daniel Bryan. 

Triple H thanks Daniel for coming down to the ring. He says that his wife may not even talk to him for meeting with Bryan tonight but he needs to do it. Triple H says that everything he has done to Bryan has been best for business. Triple H says that no one can understand the burden he is under every day in order to do what is right for the business. Triple H says it feels like it was supposed to happen this way. But in three weeks they are going to step into the ring together and fight. HHH vows to not apologize for anything that he does to Bryan in the ring. It goes both ways. 

Bryan crossed a line and now HHH has no choice but to put an end to everything. Not necessarily because he wants to but because he has no choice. He will always do what is best for business. Triple H extends his hand. The crowd chants no. Bryan shakes his head no. Triple H says it’s cool because he would probably do the exact same thing. Triple H says he has dumped the world on Bryan and yet he is still standing. Triple H says that the crowd chants for Bryan because they respect him. He has walked through a mountain of crap that anybody else would have faced and taken their ball and gone home. 

Stephanie McMahon appears yelling about respect. She says that what Daniel Bryan did last week was illegal. He put everyone in the ring in danger. Stephanie is furious so she calls for security to come for Bryan. About eight men make their way to the ring and surround Bryan. Triple H and Stephanie argue on the outside. Inside the ring the men get behind and handcuff Bryan. They press Bryan down to the ring. 

Triple H gets back inside and tells the men to back off. Bryan is still handcuffed. Triple H says that this is not what he wants. But, he is looking forward to doing this himself. Security leaves the ring. Triple H starts to stomp on Bryan’s head. HHH drags Bryan out of the ring and throws him into the steel steps. There is no way for Bryan to fight back. Still, he finds a way to his feet and gets in a kick. HHH responds by throwing Bryan first into the apron and then the commentator’s booth. Stephanie yells encouragement to Bryan. Triple H gives Bryan a slap for good measure and then throws him into the barricade. Triple H holds Bryan and slaps him before punching him over and over. 

The onslaught continues as Bryan’s shirt is torn. Triple H raises his arms and mimics a yes chant. Stephanie gets in a couple of slaps so Bryan yells that she hits like a girl. Stephanie responds with some more slaps. Triple H places Bryan’s head against the steel post. He grabs a chair and slams it over Bryan’s skull. Triple H brings Bryan back inside and hits him with a pedigree. Triple H gets on the microphone and yells that this is their ring, and this is their show!

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