We are in Rockford, Illinois and your announcers are Michael ‘Where was the answering machine at the start of tonight’s show’ Cole and John ‘That is a reference that I would have given’ Layfield.
Match Number One: Rob Van Dam versus Randy Orton (with ceremonial red briefcase)
They lock up and Van Dam with a side head lock and take down but Orton escapes and they both get back to their feet. They lock up and Orton with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Van Dam flips over Orton’s back and he hits a twisting drop kick and then he does the thumbs thing.
Orton with a kick and side head lock take down. Van Dam with elbows but Orton with a drop kick to the back of the head and he gets a near fall. Van Dam pops up and hits a spinning side kick but Orton sends Van Dam to the floor. Van Dam blocks being sent into the ring steps and he sends Orton into the steps.
Van Dam puts Orton on the ringside barrier and Van Dam rolls into the ring to break the count and then Rob reminds us who he is before hitting the corkscrew guillotine leg drop and both men are down as we go to commercial.
We are back and Orton with a knee drop to Van Dam and then he hits a leaping knee drop. Orton sends Van Dam into the turnbuckles and he punches Van Dam. Orton with an Irish whip but Van Dam with an elbow and then he goes up top but he has his back to Orton and Orton pushes Van Dam to the floor and Van Dam hits the ringside barrier.
Orton rolls to the floor and he hits a backdrop driver onto the ringside barrier. Orton sends Van Dam back into the ring and he gets a near fall. Orton with a reverse chin lock and he adds extra pressure by putting his body weight on Van Dam. Van Dam gets back to his feet. Van Dam with elbows and punches followed by two clotheslines. Van Dam avoids a clothesline and he hits a super kick followed by a power slam and a split legged moonsault but Orton can only get a two count.
Van Dam goes up top and hits a senton splash for a near fall. Van Dam tries for the monkey flip but Orton moves. Orton with shots to the back and then he hits a back breaker and both men are down. Orton crawls over to make the cover but he can only get a two count.
Orton with two clotheslines and he avoids a Van Dam clothesline. Orton with a power slam for a near fall. Orton sends Van Dam to the apron for the IEDDT but Van Dam gets back into the ring and he counters with a Northern Lights suplex and bridge for a near fall.
Orton sends Van Dam to the apron but Van Dam with a shoulder. Van Dam tries for a slingshot move back into the ring but Orton with a drop kick and Van Dam is down on the apron. Orton with the IEDDT and he hits it. Orton looks around and he twists to the mat and pounds on it before the RKO. Van Dam with a kick to the head and a body scissors rollup for a near fall. Van Dam with a step over spinning heel kick followed by Rolling Thunder.
Van Dam goes up top for the Five Star Frog Splash but Orton moves. Orton pops up and as Van Dam bounces back to his feet, Orton with the RKO for the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton
We go to commercial.
We are back with a WWE Rewind of AJ distracting Kaitlyn in her match against Layla on Raw.
We are back and it is time for MizTV. Miz welcomes everyone and he brings out his guests, AJ Lee and Big E Langston. We see what happened on Raw with these two, Dolph Ziggler, and Kaitlyn.
Miz asks AJ what the relationship is between her and Big E Langston. AJ says that it is obvious. Langston is there for her. He is a nice friend and a good guy. She says that Big E is her best friend. She fist bumps Big E.
Miz throws out a few reallys and then Miz asks AJ if she had a lot of ‘friends’ whose lives she tried to ruin. Miz mentions John Cena, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Kane, and Dolph Ziggler. Miz asks if he missed anyone.
AJ says that Miz does not know how many times she had her heart broken.
Miz says that AJ is playing the victim, but what if the problem is her.
AJ says they deserved that. Those are not good guys. They are not heroes. They tricked her into falling in love with her and then they left her. She should have had her best friend Kaitlyn to turn to, but she left him.
What will never leave her and stay by her side until she is old and gray is the Divas Title. This title will be with her forever. It will never abandon her like that bleach blonde small man, Dolph Ziggler.
Speaking of Dolph Ziggler, his music plays and he makes his way to the ring. He tells AJ to face it. It has been the story of his life. Women can’t get over him. He says the same to Langston.
AJ says that Ziggler is out here because he is not over her. They had something special, but Dolph is so sad that he will never be able to touch her again.
Kaitlyn’s music plays and she makes her way to the ring. She says that Dolph can’t touch her, but she can. She says that AJ cost her her tigitle. She cost Dolph his title. What else does she want. Why is AJ so obsessed with them?
Dolph says that she doesn’t want to see her again.
Miz stops things and he tells everyone it is his show. He sees what is going on here and he says that as host of SummerSlam he can make a match. At SummerSlam, it will be AJ Lee and Big E Langston against Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn.
Kaitlyn says that she cannot wait to slap the crazy off her face. AJ goes after Kaitlyn and Langston pulls Kaitlyn off AJ and he tells Kaitlyn to calm down. Ziggler with a Zig Zag to Langston and Kaitlyn with a spear to AJ.
We go to commercial.
We are back and we take a look back at what happened between CM Punk and Curtis Axel on Monday night, plus Brock Lesnar’s return to the equation.
Alberto Del Rio is in Vickie’s office and he wants to know why he has to face Christian tonight when they are wrestling at SummerSlam. Alberto tells Vickie that they should work together.
Vickie tells Alberto that he disrespected her by picking Ricardo as his opponent at SummerSlam.
Alberto reminds Vickie of what happened at Raw to Ricardo.
Vickie says that she made this match because of what Alberto did to Christian last week.
Alberto says that if he gets hurt tonight, he might not be able to compete at SummerSlam.
Vickie says that is a risk that she is willing to take.
Match Number Two Fandango (with Summer Rae) versus Kofi Kingston
Kofi with a waist lock but Fandango with an elbow and punches. Kofi punches back and Fandango with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Kofi with leap frogs and a leaping back elbow. Kofi with kicks in the corner and then he hits a Stinger splash. Kofi tries for Trouble in Paradise but Fandango holds on to the ropes and then Fandango back drops Kofi over the top rope to the floor.
Fandango goes to the floor and he suplexes Kofi. Fandango sends Kofi back into the ring and he gets a near fall. Fandango with a back elbow and he gets a near fall. Fandango with a reverse chin lock. Fandango with a forearm to the back but Kofi blocks a belly-to-back suplex. Kofi counters another attempt with a lateral press.
Fandango misses a charge into the corner and he hits the ring post with his shoulder. Kofi with chops followed by a drop kick and a leaping clothesline. Kofi goes for the Boom Drop but Fandango goes to the floor. Kofi with a kick to Fandango and then Kofi goes up top.
Summer gets between Fandango and Kofi. Kofi leaps over Summer and hits a splash on Fandango. Summer is down and she holds her ankle. Kofi mistakenly shows compassion and that allows Fandango to send Kofi into the ring post. Summer shows that she is not injured.
Fandango sends Kofi back into the ring and Fandango hits the FandangoBama Jam for the three count.
Winner: Fandango
Daniel Bryan is walking in the back and Renee Young asks him about the Corporate Makeover from last week. Daniel tells Renee that he likes the way he looks. When he was asked to cut the beard, that was the breaking point. He decided to give Wade a makeover. Daniel says that he has not changed himself to get into the WWE. He will change history when he defeats John Cena for the WWE Championship. Daniel says that the beard is still here.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Three: Daniel Bryan versus Wade Barrett (with clippers)
They both throw forearms but Barrett with a kick and punches. Barrett with an Irish wip but Bryan flips over Barrett and he hits a flying clothesline. Bryan with kicks to the leg and chest. Barrett clotheslines Bryan over the top rope to the floor. Barrett runs Bryan into the apron.
Barrett Irish whips Bryan into the ring steps. Barrett rolls Bryan back into the ring and he gets a near fall. Barrett chokes Bryan in the ropes and then he puts Bryan in the ropes for a series of knees and a boot to send Bryan to the apron. Barrett gets a near fall. Barrett with a knee to the back and then he stretches Bryan. Barrett with a reverse chin lock and Bryan with elbows. Bryan with a drop toe hold that sends Barrett into the turnbuckles. Bryan sets for the running drop kick into the corner but Barrett with the Blackpool Slam for a near fall.
Barrett goes for the clippers and he turns them on. Bryan stops Barrett from using them and Bryan kicks Barrett to the floor. Bryan with a running knee off the apron and then he sends Barrett back into the ring.
Bryan goes up top for the diving head butt and he connects. Bryan applies the Yes Lock and Barrett taps out.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
After the match, Bryan grabs the clippers and he stomps on them on the ring steps to break it.
Renee Young is in the back with Damien Sandow. She asks Damien about the briefcase swimming lesson a few weeks ago on Smackdown.
Damien demands SILENCE from Renee. He says that we have learned a few things from this. First, Cody is a thief. Second, Cody destroyed his briefcase. Third, they will settle their differences at SummerSlam. Damien has resolved the briefcase situation. He unveils the Sandowized briefcase. There is a new contract in the briefcase that Mr. Del Rio will see at a time of his choosing. At that time, he will become the World Champion of the Unwashed Masses.
We go to commercial with Kane walking in the back.
Match Number Three: Kane versus Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, and Drew McIntyre
Slater goes after Kane first and Kane punches him. Kane with punches to McIntyre and Mahal. Kane with an Irish whip to Slater and a clothesline. He goes after Mahal but Drew with a drop kick to stop him. Mahal and McIntyre hold Kane for jabs from Slater. Kane with a boot to Slater followed by McIntyre that sends Drew to the floor. Kane sends Mahal over the top rope to the floor.
Kane sends Slater to the floor and then he sends Mahal and McIntyre into the announce table. Kane sends Drew into the ring steps. Kane sends Slater over the announce table. Kane sees Mahal in the ring and he choke slams Mahal and gets the three count.
Winner: Kane
After the match, Bray Wyatt appears on the TitanTron. A ring of fire. That sounds like the kind of fight that favors the man who claims to be the Devil’s Favorite Demon. He likes Kane’s style. Bray says that Kane has not grasped the concept of what is really going on here.
Fire will not control the souls of his brothers. They are everywhere. That fire that Kane calls his own will surround him and Kane will be the one who is locked inside with a monster. Kane’s fire fears him. It is smart enough to understand that it can never hurt him. Bray has a secret for Kane. He says that he is already dead. Bray laughs and then we cut to the ring and Kane sets off the pyro in the ring posts.
We go to commercial.
We are back with an interview with Brock Lesnar.
Brock says that many see it as a personal issue between Paul and Punk with Brock there as his muscle. It is personal between him and Punk. He never liked Punk. Punk calls himself the Best in the World. Brock says that the only reason why he let Punk exist this long out of respect for Paul.
Brock says that the corporate idiots are calling this match ‘The Best versus The Beast’. He says the Beast is the Best and you are looking at him.
Punk thinks that because he tapes his hands, has some tattoos and takes some MMA classes at his local gym that he is a tough guy. He isn’t. People have asked him if there is any professional jealousy, but what does he have to be jealous of? Was Punk an NCAA Champion or UFC Champion?
Brock points out that he was the Undisputed Champion when Punk was wrestling in front of 100 people in a high school gym. He will give Punk credit. Holding the WWE Title for 434 days is impressive, especially for a guy like him. Punk has never faced anyone like him because there is no one else like him.
Brock says Size Does Matter. At SummerSlam, CM Punk will learn what it truly means to be victimized by Brock Lesnar.
Match Number Four: Christian versus Alberto Del Rio in a Non Title Match
Del Rio with a forearm to the back followed by head butts and a side head lock. Del Rio holds on to the side head lock when Christian tries for an Irish whip. Del Rio with a shoulder tackle and he gets a near fall.
Del Rio with a kick and head butts to Christian. Christian with shoulder tackles and he gets a near fall. Christian with a side head lock take down. Del Rio backs Christian into the corner and then he connects with shoulders. Del Rio with a snap mare and then he kicks Christian in the back.
Del Rio with a thrust kick but Christian with a drop toe hold that sends Del Rio into the ropes. Christian slingshots to the floor but Del Rio moves. Christian sends Del Rio over the top rope to the floor. Christian with a baseball slide and Del Rio hits the announce table.
Christian looks at his peeps as we go to commercial.
We are back and Christian punches Del Rio in the corner and then he climbs the turnbuckles to punch Del Rio. Christian goes to the turnbuckles for the tornado DDT but Del Rio sends Christian to the mat. Del Rio with a double stomp to the back and he gets a near fall. Del Rio with an Irish whip and he tries for a baseball slide but Christian moves.
Del Rio trips Christian and he thinks about pulling Christian groin first into the post but he takes too long and Christian pulls Del Rio into the post. Christian goes up top and misses a cross body when Del Rio moves. Both men are down while the referee makes his count.
Del Rio gets up first and he sends Christian back into the ring and he gets a near fall. Del Rio with a reverse chin lock but Christian with punches and a kick. Del Rio sends Christian into the air and then Del Rio hits a super kick and Christian hangs from the apron.
Del Rio with a running boot to the head. Del Rio returns to the ring and fans start a USA chant for the match between a Canadian and a Mexican. Del Rio with a kick to the back and then he puts Christian in the Tree of Woe and he kicks Christian. The referee warns Del Rio.
Del Rio is warned by the referee again and Christian with punches. Christian goes up top but Del Rio punches Christian and he climbs the turnbuckles. They fight on the turnbuckles and Del Rio sets for a superplex towards the announce table. They both fall off the turnbuckles and go to the floor as we go to commercial.
We are back and Del Rio with a missile drop kick and he gets a near fall. Christian puts Del Rio on the turnbuckles but Del Rio with a cross arm breaker while in the ropes and he releases the hold before the referee can disqualify him.
Del Rio goes up top but Christian with uppercuts. Christian goes for a super rana and he hits it and gets a near fall. Del Rio and Christian exchange punches and Del Rio runs Christian into the corner and connects with shoulders. Del Rio runs into boots from Christian and Christian with a missile drop kick from the middle turnbuckle. Christian slingshots to the floor and he connects with the uppercut.
Christian goes up top again and he hits a cross body and gets a near fall. Christian returns to the turnbuckles and hits a back elbow and then he claps to set up for the Killswitch. Del Rio is able to counter and he tries for a belly-to-back suplex but Christian lands on his feet.
Del Rio with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker for a near fall. Del Rio with a kick to the midsection and then he works on the back with a waist lock against the turnbuckles. Del Rio runs into a back heel kick. Christian tries for a sunset flip from the turnbuckles but Del Rio rolls through.
Del Rio misses a kick and Christian tries for a Killswitch but Del Rio counters with a lungblower and he gets a near fall. Del Rio sets for the super kick but Christian ducks. Christian with a spear for a near fall.
Both men struggle to get back to their feet. Del Rio with a shot to the midsection and then he sends Christian shoulder first into the ring post. Del Rio signals for the cross arm breaker and he floats over but Christian rolls through and he gets a near fall with a rollup.
Del Rio with a super kick and Christian falls into the ropes. Del Rio takes too much time and Christian gets the three count with an inside cradle.
Winner: Christian
After the match, Del Rio cannot believe that he lost again and he attacks the announce table. Del Rio goes into the ring and he goes after Christian but Christian with a Killswitch and he leaves the ring.
Damien Sandow makes his way to the ring with the briefcase. Sandow hands the case to the referee. Before Sandow can officially cash in, Cody Rhodes hits a cross body on Sandow and then he hits Cross Rhodes on Sandow.
We go to credits.
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