Friday, January 31, 2014

1/30 Impact Wrestling Report: MVP Is the Investor: Joe's Got a Title Shot

mpact opens up with highlights from Genesis and then Mike Tenay discusses the end of Sting’s TNA career. Footage of Sting walking to the back last week is shown with him slamming the door in the camera’s face as Tenay says that Sting is gone from TNA.
In the back Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle are trying to get to Magnus and his henchmen as security and TNA agents try to hold them back.
Magnus comes down to the ring along with EC3 and Rockstar Spud. Magnus is getting a ton of heat as he comes to the ring. Looks like TNA has a massive crowd tonight. Magnus tries to talk over the crowd but they are really getting on him with “you suck” and “paper champion” chants. He says it seems like some of the guys in the back have a problem with the fact that one of their friends (Sting) isn’t here anymore. Magnus says that Sting has fallen to his reign and just like Jeff Hardy and AJ Styles he had a hell of a run but all good things must come to an end. Magnus says he made good on his promise to end Sting’s TNA career and he says wrestling is not “show friends, its show business” and in business there is a phrase that they use when the president of a company decides to restructure and lose the deadweight: “the thinning of the herd.” Magnus says that Dixie Carter has decided to rid TNA of the dinosaurs that still lumber around the company and put those old bulls down to make way for new stars. Magnus name drops Bro-Mans, Zema Ion, Rockstar Spud, and himself as future stars but leaves out EC3 which doesn’t make EC3 very happy. Magnus claims to have single handedly eliminated Hardy, AJ, and Sting from TNA, but EC3 interrupts him.
EC3 reminds him that he had a lot of help in eliminating those men but before anything else can be said Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe come down to the ring. The heels bail out of the ring as Joe and Angle slide in. Angle is visibly limping. Angle says he and Joe made the trip to the UK for reason and one reason only, to avenge the “screwing of the herd not the thinning of the herd.” Angle says that saying goodbye to Sting was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do in TNA. He says to beat Sting is one thing but to screw him over when the stakes were so high is another thing completely. He says that Sting was right and Magnus will go down in history as nothing more than a “paper champion.”
Magnus tells Angle to watch his mouth before he says something he will regret as a big “paper champion” chant breaks out. Angle says the only thing he regrets is that they let Magnus into their MEM family. He says that they invited Magnus into the group because they believed he could become a somebody in wrestling but Magnus says they wanted him in the group because he WAS a somebody and now he’s THE somebody in TNA as he raises the belt into the air. Magnus says he’s the champion and not Joe or Angle and that’s what really is killing them.
Joe says the only thing that is killing them is the fact that Magnus is walking around breathing. Joe says his patience has run out and they came to Glasgow to beat Magnus’ ass! Magnus says it sounds like Joe wants to fight so he suggests Joe and Angle against Magnus and EC3 tonight. Magnus says if the heels win then both Joe and Angle are gone from TNA for good. Joe and Angle agree to the match only if either Joe or Angle “pins or beats you unconscious” they automatically become the #1 contender! Joe says before he answers the challenge he knows those stakes are a bit high for a “paper champion” which enrages Magnus. EC3 tries to talk Magnus out of it but Magnus accepts the match!
Dixie Carter interrupts them and says that match will not happen tonight. Magnus asks Dixie if she is really trying to tell him what he can and cannot do. Dixie says there is a lot going on tonight and she can’t worry about this too. She says the investor is on his way tonight and she can’t take the risk of Magnus possibly losing that match which makes Joe and Angle laugh. Another massive “paper champion” chant starts up and Magnus says the match is on regardless of what Dixie says!
A van is shown arriving in the parking lot.
----COMMERCIAL BREAK----
The Wolves hop out of the back of the van and they say all of the answers will be answered tonight, and if anyone wants to talk to the investor they have to talk to the Wolves first.
Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne vs. Lei’D Tapa & Gail Kim
This is a bit of a Beautiful People’s reunion here with Velvet and Madison as footage of them together in BP is shown. Gail attacks Madison as she comes to the ring and she chokes her in the corner. Velvet and Madison are wearing matching blue gear. Tapa chokes Madison and then Gail hits her with a European Uppercut. Gail hits a Running Clothesline for a nearfall and then puts the boots to her. Gail goes for a Cross Body in the corner but Madison moves and then hits a clothesline. Madison tags in Velvet who hits a series of clotheslines on Gail followed by a back elbow and then a front kick. Velvet hits a Neckbreaker and then a Bulldog! 1…2…NO Gail kicks out! Velvet goes for the In Yo Face but Tapa hits her from behind to break it up. Madison comes back in and Spears Gail! Madison dropkicks Tapa off the apron and Velvet hits the In Yo Face on Gail! 1…2…3!
Winners: Velvet & Madison via pinfall (In Yo Face)
Chris Sabin comes down to the ring and screams at Madison to get out of the ring. Sabin asks Velvet what her deal is and he says he’s been calling and texting her for a week. Sabin says girlfriends are supposed to support their boyfriends not cost them matches and championships. He says he doesn’t know if it’s that type of the month or what but he is willing to give her one chance right here to apologize to him.
Velvet says she has just one thing to say to him and that is they’re done! Velvet walks out as Sabin freaks out in the ring.
Samoa Joe and Angle talk about the match tonight and they burst into Bobby Roode’s locker room and attack him!
----COMMERCIAL BREAK----
Angle is choking Roode backstage when Joe pulls him off. Angle says Roode cost Sting and AJ their jobs and it won’t happen to them. Roode laughs and asks Angle if he’s that much of a threat to Angle. Roode says he’s taken Angle out in the past and he’d do it again but then he mockingly says he’d never take Joe and Angle out at the same time. Joe grabs him by the throat and slams him against the wall and screams at him to shut his mouth. Joe screams at him that the feeling he feels right now is Joe’s hand around his windpipe and the only reason he isn’t crushing it right now is that he wants Roode to think about what will happen to him if he interferes in the match tonight. Joe says he will end Roode if he thinks about interfering in the match. As Joe and Angle leave Roode smiles while holding onto his nick.
James Storm comes down to the ring a week from losing an opportunity at the World Title against Gunner at Genesis. Storm gets a cheap pop from the Scottish crowd and then he says he has something to say to just one man, Gunner. He says that he and Gunner were friends even before Gunner came to TNA and then they became partners and Tag Team Champions, and something along the way made things fall apart. Storm calls Gunner out to the ring so they can put an end to this thing between them.
Gunner comes down and says that both of them came to TNA with one thing in mind, becoming great and being remembered. He says they did that as a tag team and he says once he got the title shot things blew up between them. He says that he had to make a career decision during that Feast or Fired Match and he knows that Storm would have done the very same thing to him that Gunner did to Storm. Gunner says Storm knows things about him that he never told anyone else from his days in the Marines where he got the nickname “Gunner.” He says one thing he learned in the Marines is that they didn’t fight for the government, they fought for the men next to them. Oddly a “USA” chant starts up and Gunner says some of his friends died on the battlefield but just like he did in battle he and Storm leave it all in the ring for each other. He says they fought beside each other on TNA’s battlefield.
Storm says that Gunner doesn’t have to tell him what kind of man he is because he already knows and he knows that Gunner is the kind of man that won’t take credit. Storm says he needs to start taking credit because he’s one hell of a wrestler and he’s right he would have done the same thing to Gunner that Gunner did to him. Storm says that everything he said to Gunner about being selfish and greedy he should have said to himself because all of his former partners he told them he had their backs no matter what and he didn’t have Gunner’s back after he got that title shot. Storm says he’s proud of Gunner and he has his back. Storm offers a handshake and Gunner accepts.
Bad Influence come out to the ring and Kaz asks Storm if he thinks anyone is going to believe a word that just came out of his mouth and then calls him a “monkey fart” which starts a brief “monkey fart” chant. Kaz says the only thing worse than a drunken dime store cowboy is a lying, drunken dime store cowboy. Kaz says he knows Gunner is all beard and no brains but he really hopes Gunner didn’t buy any of the crap that Storm said. Kaz says he knows all of the things Storm desires: beer, attention, ugly fat women, and the TNA World Title.
Daniels suggests a tag match between them tonight if Gunner really thinks Storm is trustworthy he should put the briefcase on the line so that when Bad Influence wins one of them will get his title shot. Gunner and Storm deck Bad Influence so the match is on!
----COMMERCIAL BREAK----
Bad Influence vs. “Cowboy” James Storm & Gunner
Back from commercials Storm beats on Kaz in the corner and then tags in Gunner. Gunner attempts to whip Kaz into the corner but Kaz reverses it and charges at Gunner only to run into an elbow from the Marine. Gunner climbs up top but eats a Bicycle Kick from Kaz! Daniels tags in and Bad Influence take him down to his knees and sandwich him with kicks. Daniels then hits a Sliding Clothesline followed by an Elbow Drop from Kaz. Daniels gets a nearfall and then hits a Snapmare Takeover and climbs out to the apron. He tags Kaz and then hits a Slingshot Elbow Drop followed by a Slingshot Guillotine Leg Drop from Kaz for a nearfall. Storm breaks up the pin and then Kaz rakes Gunner’s eyes. He hits the ropes but eats an elbow from Gunner. Daniels distracts Storm as Gunner was reaching for a tag and then Kaz pulls Gunner back to the heel corner and puts the boots to him. They do the phantom heel tag spot and then Daniels beats on Gunner in the heel corner. Daniels goes for a suplex but Gunner rolls him up with a small package as the referee was distracted by Kaz. Daniels kicks out and then hits a Leaping Enziguri. Daniels goes for the Angels Wings but Gunner backdrops him and tags in Storm! Storm hits a Flying Forearm followed by an Atomic Drop and then a clothesline. Daniels retreats to the corner and Storm charges at him but gets backdropped over the top. Storm lands on the apron and hits a Leaping Enziguri to the back of Daniels! Storm climbs up top and dives off with a Flying Cross Body on Daniels! 1…2…NO Kaz comes in with an Elbow Drop but Storm moves and Kaz hits his own partner! Storm tosses Kaz out to the floor and then goes for the Eye of the Storm on Daniels, but Kaz grabs his feet and pulls him down. Kaz blind tags Daniels and then dives off the top with a Missile Dropkick that sends Storm into his own corner where Gunner tags himself in! Gunner destroys Kaz with a Running Knee followed by a back elbow and then a big headbutt. Gunner hits a Running Knee in the corner and then a Rebound Suplex off the ropes! Gunner climbs up top and as Daniels tries to interfere Storm nails him with the Last Call that sends him to the floor! Gunner hits a Flying Headbutt on Kaz for the pin!
Winners: Gunner & Storm via pinfall (Flying Headbutt)
In the back Dixie Carter bitches about Magnus agreeing to the Main Event tonight and wanting to know who the investor is. She screams at Spud to find out who it is.
----COMMERCIAL BREAK----
A vignette highlighting Samoa Joe’s career in TNA is shown focusing on his undefeated streak when he started TNA and his World Title win. The vignette closes with the narrator saying that “if you blink…Joe’s gonna’ kill you” as a recording of fans chanting “Joe’s gonna kill you” plays in the background. Really nicely done.
Roode walks into Dixie’s office and she says she doesn’t have a lot of time for him tonight. Roode says he wants what Dixie promised him, a World Title shot and he wants it in the Main Event at Lockdown. Dixie says that’s not going to happen which pisses Roode off. He says he served AJ up to Magnus on a silver platter and he ended Sting’s career. She tries to write Roode a check but he gets pissed more at that and says he doesn’t want her money. He says that he’ll give Dixie one week to figure this out but until she figures it out she gets no more favors from him.
Eric Young talks to ODB backstage and apparently he’s teaming with Abyss against Bro-Mans tonight. ODB asks if he’s sure about teaming with Abyss and he says that it’s fine because this is all part of his master plan. She asks if Abyss choking him last week was part of the master plan and they call him a monster for a reason. As ODB walks away Abyss walks into frame. EY asks Abyss if he’s ready and then Abyss holds up a black bag and walks away as EY smiles.
Spud says he’s going to get answers from The Wolves tonight.
----COMMERCIAL BREAK----
Rockstar Spud comes down to the ring and he says they call the Scots the “England B Team” in England. A huge “Scotland” chant starts up and Spud says he’s here for The Wolves, and they need to get down to the ring right now.
The Wolves come to the ring for the first time in TNA wearing all black suits. Spud makes fun of their suits and then asks who the investor is. Spud calls Davey “Magnum TA” and points a light in his eye asking who the investor is. Spud takes off his jacket and slams it on the mat as he gets in their faces. He says they may be the best tag team in the world but he’s Rockstar Spud and he’s the Chief of Staff in TNA and he pushed Jeff Hardy off a “500 pound ladder” and beat Samoa Joe within an inch of his life. Spud says he’s fierce like a lion or a tiger and then slaps Davey!
Davey and Eddie take their jackets off and then they whip Spud into the ropes and Eddie Press Slams Spud into the air right down into a round kick from Davey! Eddie says Spud to tell Dixie that she will find out who the investor is at the same time as everyone else tonight. Eddie says that the investor did give them a message, they’re very interested in the Main Event tonight and if any wrestler interferes in the match tonight they will be fired!
A video history of the EY/Park/Abyss drama is shown.
The graphic for the title match showed the X-Division Title instead of Tag Titles by mistake. Zema says Bro-Mans have the physics that can impregnate all the women in attendance and make all the men question their sexuality. Those three are the biggest douche bags on the planet.
----COMMERCIAL BREAK----
TNA World Tag Team Championships 
Bro-Mans (c) w/Zema Ion vs. “Showtime” Eric Young & “The Monster” Abyss
Robbie attacks EY at the bell and whips him into the corner but EY flips over the top to the apron. EY then hits a shoulder block through the ropes and slides through Robbie’s legs. EY hits a Flying Forearm and then Abyss grabs Robbie by the throat but EY begs Abyss to chill out. Robbie tags in Jesse who hits EY from behind. Jesse beats on EY in the corner with shoulder blocks. He whips EY into the opposite corner but EY floats up and over him and then connects with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex for a nearfall. Abyss comes into the ring and chokes Jesse as EY begs him off again. Jesse hits EY from behind again and then chokes him in the ropes. Jesse tags in Robbie and then they whip EY into the ropes but Abyss comes in and slams Bro-Mans’ heads together. Robbie chop blocks EY’s knee from behind as EY tells Abyss to get out of the ring. Robbie climbs up top and dives off with the Fist Pump Drop and then tags Jesse inot the match. Jesse hits a dropkick for a nearfall. Jesse distracts the referee as Zema chokes EY from the outside. Jesse gets another nearfall and then puts EY in an armlock. EY gets the crowd behind and them breaks the hold with elbows. EY hits the ropes but eats a back elbow and then Robbie tags back into the match. Robbie chokes EY in the ropes and then tags Jesse back in. They go for a Double Back Suplex but EY lands on his feet and tags in Abyss! Abyss hits a Double Clothesline and then clotheslines each of them! Abyss whips Jesse into Robbie in the corner and then Splashes both of them! Abyss tosses Jesse out to the floor and then knocks Robbie out to the floor as well! Zema climbs up top but Abyss spots him and chokes him. The referee tries to get him to let go so Abyss grabs him for a Shock Treatment! EY begs Abyss to put the referee down but Abyss does it anyway! Abyss grabs EY by the throat and Chokeslams him too!
Winners: NO CONTEST (Bro-Mans retain)
EY grabs a microphone as Abyss starts walking up the ramp and says they only have one experiment left. He says if Abyss wants to get crazy they can do it in a Monsters Ball next week! Abyss smiles and says he will hurt EY as he nods.
The Wolves are keeping the camera man back from the van the investor is in.
Bully Ray is wheeling a coffin around backstage.
----COMMERCIAL BREAK----
Earlier this week Samuel Shaw and Christy Hemme were on a date. Shaw’s weirdo self had his hand on top of the candle and when Christy noticed he says he’s fine. Shaw shows Christy around his apartment while Shaw was also looking at the burn on his hand. Shaw sniffs Christy’s hair and she tries to go into a certain room but he stops her and tells her to go get another glass of wine. As she leaves the room is revealed to have tons of pictures of Christy all over the wall and then he puts her scrunchy with all the junk. Well, that guy is creepy.
Bully Ray wheels a coffin down to the ring and reminds us who he is. He says one man took everything away from him, his club and his title, Ken Anderson. Bully says he has dropped Anderson on his head and tried to break his neck but he keeps coming back for more no matter what he does to him. Bully says he’s challenging Anderson to one final match, a Casket Match!
Mr. Anderson comes out and looks down at the coffin as Bully Ray comes down to the coffin as well. Anderson asks if Bully just said he intended on putting Anderson in that coffin. Anderson asks Bully what he’s going to do after that, and Bully says maybe he’ll Piledrive Anderson’s wife and kids! Anderson asks Bully if he really wants to do that and Bully says he would love to “piledrive your wife.”
Anderson says he and all the people are sick and tired of Bully running his mouth so he’s going to do everyone a favor by shutting Bully’s mouth. Anderson says that his wife and kids say “hi” as Anderson slams the coffin lid into Ray’s face! Anderson slams Bully into the coffin and then tosses a chair in the ring followed by Bully. Bully pokes Anderson in the eyes and then climbs up top but Anderson punches him in the nuts and then hits the Green Bay Plunge off the top! Anderson grabs the chair and hits Ray with it repeatedly! Bully rolls out of the ring to get away from Anderson.
A vignette highlighting Angle’s TNA career is shown.
Backstage EC3 walks into Magnus’ locker room and Magnus calls EC3 a hothead. He says he knows EC3 doesn’t like him but that’s fine because he doesn’t like EC3 either. He calls EC3 a “green rookie” and says he’s not thrilled to have to team with him with title implications on the line. EC3 says it sounds like Magnus is trying to get excuses ready in case they lose. Magnus says the only excuse in there is EC3, a sorry excuse for a wrestler. He says EC3 is a “spoiled rich kid with washboard abs and the right last name.” He says EC3 can cry to Aunt Dixie about that but Dixie walks in before either one of them can say anything else. Magnus says EC3 is a future star to Dixie’s face and Dixie says she will escort them to the ring. She tells EC3 not to let her down.
----COMMERCIAL BREAK----
Main Event 
“Samoan Submission Machine” Samoa Joe & “Olympic Hero” Kurt Angle vs. Magnus & Ethan Carter III
If Joe or Angle pin or submit Magnus then that person earns a World Title shot. Angle’s left knee has a brace on it. He and EC3 start the match off and Angle gets EC3 in a waistlock, but EC3 reverses it only to get reversed right back by Angle. EC3 counters into a hammerlock and then a side headlock, but Angle shoves him into the ropes only to eat a shoulder block. EC3 hits the ropes but Angle catches him with a Hip Toss and then an armdrag! Angle holds onto the armlock but EC3 fights up to his feet and Angle tags in Joe. Joe beats on EC3 with a series of nasty jabs and then rights and lefts in the corner. Joe whips EC3 into the opposite corner followed by a Running Back Elbow and then a Leaping Enziguri! Joe hits a Snapmare Takeover and then he slaps the back of EC3 followed by a round kick and then a Knee Drop! Angle tags back in and then whip EC3 into the ropes and connect with a Double Shoulder Block! Angle puts the boots to EC3 in the corner and then chokes him with his boot! Angle hits a Snap Suplex for a nearfall. Angle whips EC3 into the corner and then charges at EC3 but Angle moves and Angle slams into the ring post! Magnus tags into the match and puts the boots to Angle as The Wolves are shown talking to someone in the van. They knock the camera down and as it lies on the ground when see someone’s shoes get out of the van and walk toward the arena.
----COMMERCIAL BREAK----
Magnus slams Angle into the heel corner and then EC3 tags back in and hits a Snap Suplex on Angle for a nearfall. EC3 puts Angle in a Half Nelson as a “we want Joe” chant starts up. EC3 transitions to a rear chinlock but Angle fights out with back elbows. Angle hits the ropes but runs right into a big clothesline from EC3 for a nearfall. EC3 slams Angle into the heel corner and tags Magnus back into the match. Magnus taunts Joe and then as Joe tries to get to him the heels double team Angle in the corner as the referee holds Joe back. EC3 tags back in and punches Angle in the ribs while Magnus holds him. EC3 whips Angle into the corner and goes for a Running Knee, but Angle moves out of the way and then hits a German Suplex! The crowd gets fired up as Angle crawls to his corner! They both tag out at the same time and Joe kills Magnus with a series of clotheslines. He then whips Magnus into the ropes followed by an Atomic Drop and then a Mafia Kick! Joe hits the Backsplash Senton followed by a series of chops! Joe whips Magnus into the ropes and goes for a backdrop but Magnus kicks him. Magnus hits the ropes again but Joe catches him with a Snap Powerslam! 1…2...NO Joe transitions into a Cross Armbreaker! EC3 runs in and breaks it up! Angle trips EC3 and pulls him out to the floor where Angle hits a Belly-to-Belly Suplex! Magnus looks down at Angle and then turns around into a nasty chop! Joe hits the ropes and Magnus is right behind him with a Lariat attempt, but Joe ducks and locks in the Coquina Clutch! MAGNUS TAPS!
Winners: Joe & Angle via submission (Coquina Clutch)
Dixie comes down with Spud and screams at Magnus that she told him that this could happen. Joe grabs a microphone and says Magnus gambled but the odds have caught up with him. Joe says not only are he and Angle still in TNA but now Magnus is starring at the #1 Contender! Joe says don’t bother blaming EC3 because it was Magnus that tapped out. The fans chant “you tapped out” at him and then Joe says there will be no excuses soon so he needs to start shining his belt because… “JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU!”
Angle says its nights like these that make him proud to be in this business and fans like tonight make the pains and disappointments go away. Angle says he’s done it all in TNA in the 8 years he’s been here and after beating Roode in the Steel Cage he will happily say he’s back! Kurt says the time is finally right for him to be inducted into the Hall of Fame and he’s sure the new investor isn’t going to want to miss this!
Dixie says she is sick and tired of hearing about the investor and she wants this person to show their face right now.
The lights go out and new music plays as a clock ticks and then The Wolves appear on the stage. MVP then walks through the tunnel! A huge “MVP” chant breaks out as MVP looks down at Dixie!

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